


She's No Angel (Chapter Three)

by Sithlordintraining



Series: She's No Angel [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, honeymoon phase is over, shit gets real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-05 01:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sithlordintraining/pseuds/Sithlordintraining
Summary: Matt, a mere radar technician, seems to enjoy bullying and pushing the much-beloved reader to the edge. But little does he know, she’s going to throw his life into a whirlwind.





	1. Part 21

**Author's Note:**

> “I want chapter 3 to seem like I’m not a virgin who can’t drive or write.”
> 
> ~Sithlordintraining 
> 
> warning: nsfw

The sunlight illuminated Kylo’s arm that was wrapped tightly around your waist. His long lashes fluttered open, showing him a vision he still couldn’t get over. Your cheek pressed against his bare chest and your pouty lips. The strap from the blush negligee that he has gifted you fell gently off your shoulder. His fingertips gently brushed it back up and you stirred at his touch. Your lids opened slowly revealing Kylo’s deep brown eyes staring back at you. He squinted and then gave you a little smirk. His deep chuckle, made you bit down on your lip. “Keep thinking those thoughts.” Kylo’s morning voice had you over the edge. You rolled your eyes. “What did I tell you about getting into my mind, Commander?” A lazy smile played on his lips. “Ranks?” He moved to whisper in your ear. “Maybe, I should show you who’s the superior, Ambassador.” His rough hands found their way underneath the negligee and onto your skin. Giggles escaped your lips as he moved on top of you. A rare smile graces his lips and it made your heart skip a beat. You knew that the path he had chose didn’t allow, this; you only thought that his feelings for you had to be extremely strong to go against his code. You didn’t know if you wanted this to be true. It would be dangerous for the both you, especially since the relationship is supposed to be kept secret.

A melodic knock on the large wooden bedroom door snapped the couple out of their mood. Kylo stilled and watched as your eyes went from the door, back to him. “It’s time to go.” You sighed. He lowered himself on his forearms, locking you in. His predatory stalk and stare, had you squirming. “Ky-Kylo, you have to go. We need to get ready for the delegates.” No matter how much you tried to reason with him, he didn’t listen; wet kisses trailed up from your sternum to behind your ear. Twice more, did the knock ring out, but the wandering hands and plump lips had you in a daze. It wasn’t soon before his lips found yours, arms pulling him closer to you. The large wooden door boomed open exposing a trooper. “Angel!” Lucky’s stern voice snapped Angel away from Kylo. Kylo turned around to give a menacing look to the nuisance trooper.

“The meeting is to start in T-30 minutes.” Lucky’s blue eyes pierced into his superior’s eyes. “Angel, you need to get ready.” You shifted up, pushing Kylo off. He turned back to you with a baffling look. ‘Please.’ You begged him in your mind. Kylo rolled his eyes and removed himself from the bed. He faced Lucky with his broad chest and black pants hanging low on his narrow hips. You were throwing on a plush robe to cover yourself from all the markings Kylo had left you. Before Kylo left, he turned surprising you by kissing you fervently, tongue wreaking of dominance. He left you breathless; with a smirk, he turned back to face Lucky and sauntered out the room. The mutual hate that the two men had for each other was almost as strong as Kylo and Hux. All the talks, well more like quarrels, that you had with them personally had escalated when Lucky was cleared for being apart of your personal security. No matter how much you told them that both men would be in your life, one always thought they deserved you more. You held your head down, waiting for Lucky to leave. When he did, you sighed, knowing that Kylo would have some choice words for the situation.

* * *

You walked between Kylo and Lucky; Lucky with the other troopers behind you and Kylo stomping off in front of you. To say the meeting didn’t go as planned was an understatement. Kylo had ended up force-choking one of the delegates and maiming those who tried to help. In the end, the First Order got what they want, but at what cost. This blowout would surely put a rift in those allying with you all. Kylo made a sharp turn venturing down the hallway, you hesitated, wanting to follow him, but, you kept on walking to your seat and strapped in. Kylo never came out. It worried you terribly, as you tried to listen for his footsteps. But they never came. When you jumped into hyperspace you got up, under the radar, and walked down the hallway. The three blast doors surrounded you as you tried to find where he was. The door to your right slid open making you jump. Walking in, his back faced you as he spoke. “I wonder if you would you would show.” He turned around. “Put the facade down and actually consider my feelings.” You took one deep breath as you knew where this was going. “Kylo, do not start this.”

“Start what?! You never want to start anything, but you’re the first one to finish.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “Kylo, you were the one who decided that it would be best if this relationship was secretive.” He rolled his eyes; he was now maskless due to Snoke’s punishment. His emotions laid straight across his face, no longer hidden from you or the world. “No, that was Hux!” He hissed. “And we agreed, it would be better if no one knew to use it against us.” You tried your hardest not to raise your voice, even though being alone with the Commander always rose suspicion, especially with their past. He stalked towards you, large figure looming over you as he spoke. “You don’t see what goes in their head, their thoughts, the inappropriate things they want to do to you. And they have the audacity to do it in front of me!” You bit your lip, taking a deep breath. “Of course, Kylo, I don’t have the force, so I don’t see when people are undressing and fucking me with their eyes. You think I’m blind to the way the females aboard look at you? You stopped wearing the mask and you’re no longer the intimidating mysterious murderer. There’s a face to a name now, and endless thoughts and whispers that circulate that-that I can’t get involved in without raising suspicion. I don’t enjoy hearing how much a pilot would like to ride your face in a TIE!” You caught yourself yelling and began to compose yourself. “I’m going to go. I’ve already been in here too long.” Kylo watched you with wavering eyes as you exited the room.

* * *

Landing back on the base, was a weird feeling. The Apocalypse had such an eerie feeling as well as an eerie name. Before, you never were on Starkiller before due to your duties of always having to move around from ship to ship. But, as Ambassador, you needed a secure place to stay when you weren’t on diplomatic missions. That also meant wherever Kylo was, so where you. Your quarters were in the same vicinity, but at opposite ends of the hallway. So everyone in between you two, Hux, Phasma, and other higher-ups could possibly see you sneaking around. Hux was opposed to the two sharing quarters, especially with Ren’s mood swings. This was one of the times, you were very grateful for this. You didn’t feel like looking or talking to him. Even the briefing, was short as you explained your successful part of the mission and left Kylo to explain himself. A nice hot shower and maybe a something warm like soup or tea would help soothe you and get a nice rest. You didn’t know what it was about the base, but you could never have a good sleep; you were either restless or awake.

Stepping out the shower, you wrapped yourself in a plush powder blue robe that had been gifted to you on one of the allying planets. Exiting the refresher you jumped at Kylo standing in your bedroom. A hand fell on your chest as you panted. “Kylo, I’m not in the mood. So, please just go.” You said gently, your hands lay flat against his chest. It was just a light touch that lingered too long and soon Kylo was wrapping his large hands around your wrist. “Y/N,” His deep voice was soft as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry. I-I don’t mean to be so bitter and overprotective.” His brown eyes bore into yours. “And I shouldn’t think that you don’t understand or ignore your feelings in the situation.” His head dipped down, as he nose traced your neck. He placed a kiss on your collarbone. “Let me make it up to you.” His lips ghosted over the skin. You looked down to see hungry darkening eyes. His gloved hand brushed against your neck and gently pulled at your head before devouring your lips. The hand in your hair moved down opening the robe and rolling your hardened nipple between the rough exterior of the leather gloves. A whimper escaped your lips; pulling you closer, Kylo’s lips started to work their way down your neck and then your chest.

Slowly, opening your eyes, they cast down to see the robe pooled at your feet and Kylo nuzzling his face against your navel. His plump lips left soft kisses from hip to hip as his hands gripped you closer. Your knees hit the bed, making you fall back. Kylo’s large hand slid up your stomach to lay you back down. His large hands tightly wrapped around your thighs pulling you closer. A whimper escaped your lips as he bit the inside of your thigh. Marking and bruisings were left on the inside of your thigh trailing up towards your core. His lips hovered over them, having your hands gripping your sheets with the feeling of his breath. Without wasting any time, he was ravaging your center. The sound of your wetness and his hungry moans were pushing you over the edge. The soft mewls flowed into his ears as he sucked on your clit. He could feel the pressure on his back as your feet flexed as you grew closer. “Kylo!” You moaned, arching your back. He took his tongue inside you and made you squirm. Hands were grabbing at his thick locks to pull him back. He chuckled and the vibrations had your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You felt your vision getting hazy, so you shut your eyes tightly.

“ANGEL!” A voice boomed and had you sitting up. Kylo stood in front to hide your exposed body. Lucky moved to see Kylo with raging eyes peering at him. His blue eyes went from his superior to the robe to your (y/e/c) eyes that peaked from behind the mass of black. Your emotions were mixed with embarrassment and pity; Lucky saw it and Kylo felt it. Kylo turned and looked down at you. His rage slowly melted to hurt as the couple stared at each other without saying anything. Kylo slowly picked up your robe and placed it in your lap. Kylo turned to see that Lucky was gone. “I won’t be returning.” He was out the door before you could even get out a word. He was seething; the sound of his boots thundered down the halls of the base as everyone cleared the way. Kylo ventured his way down to the barracks with only one person in mind. Kylo slid down the dark hallway, “Trooper 0777.” Lucky stood at the end of the hallway as Kylo stomped his way towards him.

“Disrespectful, arrogant, impotent, useless,” Kylo spat at the trooper who seemed unfazed. “You have no right to enter a superior officers quarters!” He pointed at Lucky’s chest. “I have access!” Lucky answered back. “NO!” Kylo squeezed his gloved hands. “You do not have access, you know that the General will be notified of your perversion,” Kylo yelled. “If you notify the General, then you have to notify him what you were doing there as well.” Lucky cocked his brow. Kylo’s jaw clenched as he tried to calm himself down. Unsheathing his lightsaber he pushed Lucky against the wall. “I should’ve killed you when I got the chance. You should’ve died when I threw you against the wall.” Lucky felt the heat hit him in waves at the close proximity of a lightsaber. “You know the only reason you are still alive is that of your precious little Angel.” He gritted. “You should’ve died with your so-called friends on the mission to Rokin, but you two can’t stand to be away from each other.” Lucky’s breath hitched as he felt the Commander’s arm push harder against his armored chest. Kylo removed himself from Lucky looking him over once more. “She won’t be able to save you one day.”


	2. Part 22

A mass of dark fabric flowed as the Commander and Ambassador made their way down to council room. Everyone made sure they stayed clear from Kylo Ren and you, seeing how the pair worked in such close proximity. Engulfed in a conversation, you didn’t watch where you were going and tripped forward bracing yourself for a fall that never came. Kylo’s left hand was flexed holding you in place until you got your footing. They both turned to see a small woman crouching in a fetal position. Kylo held a scowl, while you rushed over to the girl. “Oh my stars, are you okay? Was it you that I tripped over?” Your gloved hands brushed against the arms of her skin as you helped her sit up. She jumped at the touch and you quickly removed your hands, “Did I-I’m sorry, are you hurt?” You asked. Her peridot green eyes looked you over and thick eyebrows furrowed as she was confused as to why a high ranking officer would care so much for a mere technician! Kylo continued to stare at the awkward girl with extremely large eyes and pixie cut as she made inaudible noises out of fright and complete awe for Y/N. “I’m going to take you to the medbay.” Y/N nodded and began helping her up. “What about the meeting?” Kylo whispered through clenched teeth. “I will be there, just let the General know I had to go to the infirmary.” You told him as you wrapped your arm around the girl, she leaned into you. Kylo squinted his eyes at the women walking off; there was something about that girl he didn’t like.

You strolled in approximately at the time the meeting started and took your seat right next to the General, which Kylo hated. Hux knew that with you just being in the meeting would cause a distraction for Ren, so the least he could do was keep you apart. But, it didn’t stop Kylo from using the force the whisper sweet nothings in your mind and have the force trace the soft skin on your hand. As one of the officers was speaking, a fuse blew and everyone flinched back. “Call for a technician.” Hux sighed. The officers seemed to relax since they wouldn’t be able to move forward with the presentation. You got up and made your way to the empty seat between Phasma and Kylo. You positioned yourself to speak to Phasma and Kylo’s hand immediately wrapped around yours. The blast doors opened to reveal the small short-haired woman who was bandaged up. “What are you doing here?” You perked up. She recoiled afraid to speak. “You’re hurt!” You said softly and it made the girl look down like a child being scolded. “Are you hurt enough that you can’t perform your job?” General Hux spoke up. “No sir!” She squeaked and made a beeline to the machine. You watched her with furrowed brows until Phasma brought another topic of conversation. Kylo continued to brush his thumb along the smooth skin on the back of your hand, he then let it fall to your thigh gripping it lightly. He felt hard eyes fall on him and cursing thoughts, he looked up at Hux was engulfed in a conversation and the other officers that really paid no mind to them. The only person left was, brown eyes fell on the girl who held a shocked stare and quickly turned to work with the machine.

When the meeting was over, Y/N made her way over to the technician. “What is your name technician?” You asked. She was a half a foot shorter than you and had the innocent features of a small child. You pondered why she worked for the order. The same could be said to you, even with your promotion to an ambassador, everyone still wondered someone with such an innocent disposition and pure-heart worked for the order. “S-Serena, ma’am.” She stuttered. “It’s nice to meet you, Serena, I’m Ambassador-” “I know who you are, you’re Angel. Everyone knows who you are.” A soft smile fell to your lips when she called you by your nickname as if you were an idol. Serena looked up at you in awe. “Yes,” You smiled. “I’m Ambassador L/N, but you can call me Angel if you ever need me, you know where to find me.” Serena nodded quickly before watching you walk to Kylo. “What was that about?” Kylo asked you as he continued walking. “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure she was ok.” Kylo hummed at your answers. “There’s something about you that draws in the technicians.” He smirked. “You started it.”

* * *

There was something about this girl that rubbed Kylo the wrong way. She seemed to be always there, always watching, always…seeking your attention. He wasn’t the only one to notice either. Lucky escorted you to your next destination on a lower level, the pair stood waiting for the elevator. The door opened and he pushed you inside and turned with his blaster head to the girls head. “Hands above your head, now!” He ordered. The girl stood stricken with fear as tears ran down her face. “What are you doing Lucky?!” You pushed his gun aside and made your way towards her. Before you could, you were snatched behind Lucky, whose weapon was still pointed at the girl. “She’s been following you for a while!” His voice filtered through the mask. “Lucky, she means no harm.” You rolled your eyes moving forward. “Angel-” You cut him off with a wave of your hand. “Are you okay?” You asked her. She just nodded. “What were you doing here?” She looked into your (y/e/c) eyes and her breath hitched. “I-I was looking for something I lost. Just retracing my steps, ma’am.” You turned back to Lucky. “Lucky please help Serena look for what she lost.” Serena was surprised that you had remembered her name, somebody like you even had time to remember a rather replaceable person. “Yes,” Lucky grumbled.

You entered the elevator and watched them walk off as the doors closed. In less than a minute you were at the correct location, eyes meeting none other than your scowling boyfriend. “You’re late,” Kylo said. “No, I’m on time.” His brown eyes scanned you. “Where is your trooper escort?” You only shrugged and Kylo knew something was up because Lucky would jump at a chance to be by your side. “You were with that technician.” He spat. “Don’t read my mind.” You said quickly. The meeting seemed to go painfully slow for Kylo who didn’t even try to hide his stare. You did your best to ignore, but even Hux grew tired of it. “Would you like to pay attention Ren or is there someplace else you’d rather be?” Hux interrupted the presenter. Kylo’s eyes fell on a smirking Hux to see if he would accept this challenge of humiliation. The Commander stood up and exited the room, you, Hux, and other officers watched him with shock at his bold action. Kylo stomped down the hallways of the base until he found what he was looking for. “Trooper 0777.” His voice echoed off the walls. Lucky turned, watching the man rush down the hallway. Kylo stood before the trooper taking a few seconds of intimidation seep in before speaking.

“Your job is to escort the Ambassador, correct?” Kylo asked. “Correct, sir.” “Your absence was noted today as she arrived at the meeting…on time, without you.” There was a silence before Lucky asked for permission to speak freely. “Permission granted.” Lucky removed his helmet. “For the past few cycles, I’ve been noticing a female tech following her. Today when we were about to get on the elevator, the tech approached us and I went to protect Angel and she dismissed it!” He told Kylo. Kylo furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?” Kylo asked. “She didn’t believe the tech was following her. The tech came up with this crappy story, which I can’t believe Angel fell for and had me go with the girl.” Kylo pondered over this information. “This girl-” “Serena, her name is Serena.” Lucky interrupted. “Serena,” Her name slipped from his lips like venom. “I don’t like her,” Kylo growled. Lucky snickered. “You don’t really like anyone.” There was a flicker of amusement in Kylo’s eyes that Lucky missed. Even though he didn’t want to admit, a part of him wanted to be at least cordial with the man seeing as his girlfriend was his best friend and she turned to Lucky for everything. It also didn’t hurt that from the stories Y/N had told him, Lucky seemed like a guy that his former self would enjoy or even be. “But I agree.” Lucky nodded. “There’s something about her that I just don’t trust.”

* * *

After his talk with Lucky, Kylo had summoned you to meet you in his quarters. You were tired as you had a final meeting that ran over the time and sent him a message to talk tomorrow. So you weren’t surprised with an upset Kylo greeting you in your personal quarters. “Kylo,” You sighed. “I’m tired. I just want to go to bed.” You ventured into your bedroom. He couldn’t help the pout that formed on his face as he took in your tired state. “Let me help you.” He quickly moved to your side and helped you discard your uniform. “I’ll draw you a bath.” His lips were pressed to the side of your temple as he held you. “No, I’m too tired. I might drown.” A giggle left both of their lips before Kylo found a solution. “I’ll join you.” You hummed as you felt his chest vibrate against your back as he spoke. You knew the only reason Kylo did this is that he secretly likes baths. Phasma had told you that Hux gave every higher up a bath, but Kylo had declined but made sure you had a grand one. Through the force, he started the bath as he discarded his attire in a matching dark pile next to yours. Grabbing his hand you led him to the bath; he sat in first and you followed suit as some of the water spilled out.

You leaned your back against his chest and sighed: “This was a good idea.” Kylo combed your hair up into a ponytail so it wouldn’t get wet. When he was done, you pressed a soft kiss to the back of his left hand. “Thank you.” You looked back to meet his soft brown eyes. It was moments like these that you cherished the most. When titles, position, politics, and everything else that seemed to stand in the way disappeared. Kylo licked his lips before delving into your plump lips. His thumb brushed against your chain as he dominated the kiss against your tired tongue. You moaned pulling back. “I can’t believe you’ve never kissed anyone before.” You purred. “Is that a compliment?” Kylo chuckled. You nodded. “How many people have you kissed?” Kylo asked. You closed your eyes in thought before answering: “Five, if you count Matt.” You cheekily grinned back at him, but Kylo didn’t like your answer. For him, five seemed like too many, especially since the way your kisses made him feel. Kisses were supposed to be meaningful. He clenched his jaw. “Was your first kiss Lucky?” He spat. “No one in the order.” You told him and he thought that meant you kissed anyone in the order, which relieved him thinking that it must’ve been while you were in the academy. “You were young then?” He asked and you nodded. “Was it romantic?” You laughed. “Is anyone’s first kiss romantic?” A blush crept up his face thinking about how he thought he was pretty perfect. “But yours was very original, by far the best story.” You lazily traced his jawline. Your eyes started to fall when Kylo interrupted you. “What was your story?” There was the silence that you took to gather your thoughts before you talked. “It was my first year at the academy, it was after swim practice and I was in the girls’ locker room about to change. The co-captain hated me, Theresa I think was her name. I was in the running for the captain as well as her and she deemed it unfair, seeing as I didn’t put the time in like her. We were arguing and then she kissed me.” You shrugged, realizing a sigh. Kylo sat back staring at the back of your head.

Kylo didn’t know why he had asked to know about your kiss nor did he understand what he was feeling, jealousy maybe? But he didn’t know if he was jealous that he wasn’t yours as he was his or the fact that he, Kylo Ren, was inexperienced. Given his age and status, he felt as he should be the one teaching you these things, not the other way around. Also, in his eyes, you were this untouched goddess who deserved everything and wanted for nothing, but this brought you in a new light. He looked down at you to see you sound asleep. After some time he laid your nude body against the luxurious sheets and wrapped you in your big comforter. Kylo laid beside you watching your chest rise slowly. His eyes fell to the entrance of your bedroom; Kylo could hear thoughts about you, very loud and borderline lewd. If there was one thing Kylo didn’t like was people thinking about what was his, even if they didn’t know you two were together. Kylo put on his clothes and marched down to the barracks of the Apocalypse. He clenched his hands as the thoughts got louder the closer he got. He entered the stormtrooper sector and wore a satisfactory grin that it was finally time for him to get rid of Lucky. But as he made his way past the last door he slowed his steps. He opened the room revealing nothing but darkness as he began to force choke the culprit, the thoughts stopped.

“Please!” The voice struggled and he flinched releasing his hold. He didn’t need to turn on the lights to reveal that it was none other than the technician, Serena. Her back was pressed against the wall as she watched him walk over to her in fear. Kylo towered over her, going through her mind as she held back sobs. He could see her adoration, infatuation, no obsession with Y/N run rampant through her mind. “Your feelings for your superior is unprofessional.” He told the girl coldly. “I know,” She said slowly. “She’s just so wonderful, it’s so hard.” Kylo tilted his head, strangely wanting to know more. “It’s more than just her beauty?” He asked. She nodded. “We all hear the stories of Angel and how her beauty is unparalleled and her intelligence unmatched by any other officers and how genuine she is, but to experience it.” Serena smiled. Kylo scowled as he felt a tinge of jealousy as the girl gushed about Y/N. “You must know, you’re seeing her.” Kylo’s hand wrapped around her neck slightly sliding her up the wall. His eyes darkened feeling the fear as whimpers escaped her pink quivering lips. There was a shift in his mind, along with the jealousy, your innocent laugh distorted into a mocking of lack of experience; her words ‘five’ continued to play in his head. An idea formed in his head as his eyes darkened under the light. “Would you like to know what she tastes like?” The girl whimpered a ‘yes’. Kylo’s lips teased against hers before gently releasing his grip and forcing her mouth open with his tongue. His hand was still positioned around her neck as his body pressed her against the wall. He ended the kiss, stepping back, his face void of emotion and exited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: I know it seems like I’m just throwing in a random character, but in the long run it will make sense. I promise.


	3. Part 23

You sighed reading the last page of the proposal of a new allying planet. There was a knock on your door, you pressed the button underneath your desk to open the blast doors. It was Lucky, with a tray in hand. You smiled up at him setting down your datapad. “You’re really taking personal trooper to the next level, you didn’t have to.” Lucky set the plate in front of you and snorted. “Yeah and if I didn’t Ren would have my head on this tray.” He removed his helmet and sat in the chair opposite the desk. You propped your head upon your hand wearing a bright smile at your best friend. “So you guys are talking?” Y/N teased. “It’s only about you, Angel.” He scratched his head. “So,” You shrugged. “After all this time, it took another technician.” Lucky groaned thinking about the girl. “Angel, we care about you and tease me all you want, there’s something about her that Ren and I just don’t like.” You removed the cover of the tray and begin to pick at the food in front of you. “Well, you’re right about one thing.” You ate a spoonful of the meal in front of you. “You and Kylo speaking about me is still good enough to make me happy that you two are speaking instead of at each others neck.” Y/N sighed leaning back in her seat. “Just imagine we can have so much fun on missions now and we could have dinner!” You jumped at the thought.

“Dinner?” Lucky smirked. “You, Kylo, Ava and me?” Your lips fell into a frown at the mention of the name. “Ava…doesn’t,” You failed at finding a good excuse. “Angel, whatever happened to you guys in the past it’s been years! You both have matured, so why can’t you move past it!” Lucky threw his arms up. “We are both in happy relationships and getting along with Ren, so.” You just sat there watching your hands in your lap. “I’m not mad Angel,” You felt the hard gloves brush against your scalp. “I just want the same effort for Ava.” After Lucky left, you sent Kylo a message regarding dinner plans for a double date. You set your datapad down and thought for a moment. This would be the first couple that you would be able to compare your relationship too. Ava and Lucky had had much more experiences than you and Kylo, so maybe it would be good for you to see that. It also worried you that someone other than the people you trusted was about to find about your relationship. A chime alert you of a new message from Kylo and somehow it had a warm feeling spread within your chest: **Do you think we are ready?** It could be interpreted anyway, but you saw it as nervousness and unsure which is how you felt now. **Yes.** Was all you wrote as you went; sighing you couldn’t be happier that everything was coming together.

* * *

Ava was no longer Lucky’s plaything and it was much easier since Angel had been preoccupied with something or someone else. There were rumors surrounding you and Kylo, especially since his face reveal. But everyone thought so highly of you and they knew you would never submit to him after everything that happened. This was the reason, that made you and Hux want to keep the relationship a secret. Also, Hux never thought it would last as long as it did and neither did Lucky. But you proved them wrong and now a double date was well on its way. Anxiety riddled your body leading up to the double date. You became hyper-aware of your surroundings and all the little whispers that echoed in the hallways. And Kylo noticed. “You look beautiful.” Kylo appeared behind you in the mirror. You fixed the greatcoat on your shoulders. “It’s just one of my uniforms.” You tsked. Kylo walked closer kissing your hairline as he held you in his arms. “You’re always beautiful.” He fluffed the (y/h/c) curls that frame your face. “Why are you so nervous?” He played with the strand right in front of your ear. “It’s silly I know, but this, us, it means a lot and she will be the first person to see it and I-I just don’t want her to say anything, I sound stupid.” You placed your forehead on his chest. His laughter resonated through your body. “Then make her sign an agreement.” You looked up at him and smiled at his joke. “Well, that is my job.” “Exactly,” He pressed a wet kiss to your cheek.

* * *

They were late, and not just a few minutes late, almost an hour late! You and Kylo sat there in an awkward silence trying to find things to preoccupy yourselves with. The couple stumbled in, Lucky in a basic all black regulated off-duty attire and Ava in a low-cut burgundy dress. Their smiles and sheen of sweat didn’t go unnoticed as Y/N stared with her mouth slightly agape and Kylo with his classic scowl. Kylo waved at the waiter to start bringing the courses. You cursed yourself for suggesting dinner, you thought about how horrible yours and Kylo’s went and so far this just proved that dinner dates weren’t for you. No one would dare question Kylo Ren and Ava just seemed to talk the whole time. It wasn’t until between dinner and dessert when Kylo surprised by asking in his careless fashion: “How’d you two meet?” But Kylo genuinely wanted to know because Ava didn’t even come close to you and she was quite annoying.

Ava turned to smile at Lucky. “Well, I’ve known her for quite some time; it was in the medbay, of course, and-” “And he and another trooper were trying to patch up each other’s wounds and Luck was doing a great job.” She interrupted him. “I like a man that knows how to use his hands.” A blush quickly rose in Lucky’s face as he tried to ignore your disturbed expression. Ava placed her hand on his thigh and smiled back at you. “What about you two?” Kylo’s eyes widened as his mind went blank. What story could be told that didn’t make the two seem like a deranged pair? “We met in the hallway.” Your voice pulled Kylo out of his thoughts. Kylo nodded looking down at you. “And we went back and forth a lot until” You shrugged giving Kylo a soft smile. Kylo watched the gleam in your eye sparkle as he felt the warmth of your hand wrapped around his. “I think everyone meets Angel in the hallway.” Lucky laughed. Kylo squinted at the man who had stolen this intimate moment. “That wasn’t funny Lucky.” You scolded him. “Angel,” He looked at you. “It was very frightening!” You told him. “W-What happened?” Kylo asked.

“Do you want to tell?” The friends laughed in unison. “No Angel, you do it.” Lucky cooed. “Zeros and Lucky were showing us new recruits around Starkiller, literally the first and last time I was on it. It was in one of the sectors that held the main water valves and of course, the pipe broke and it exploded. The water burst into the hallway and rushed in so quick, sweeping some people under and I went back to save some and he was one.” You humbly ended, but Lucky wasn’t having it. “No, Angel is a fucking fish. She was a captain of her swim team. She kept going back in to save us one by one. I was the last because my armor got stuck and I was sure I was about to die. I was positive I was dead when she came to get me she looked like an ethereal being, she wore that light gray academy uniform and her hair started to curl and the overhead light just crowned her head. She was the reason I was ready to go to the light!” Lucky joked. “And then I passed out because you’re fat.” You giggled and Lucky rolled his blue eyes. Ava sat with a twisted face and crossed arms avoiding the conversation. Kylo felt a pain in his chest knowing that you could’ve died because of him. It was due to one of his tantrums that had caused that valve to break. But the feeling weighed heavier than he would’ve thought of. His brown eyes looked at your smiling face. But you knew him better than anyone.

“This was fun, but I think it’s time for us to go.” You smiled, interlocking your fingers with his. “You know, the higher you are the earlier you rise.” You sent Ava a devilish smile before leaving with Kylo and your great coat blowing in the wind. You entered the elevator and a dark chuckle left Kylo as his long arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer. “What?” You leaned your head on his chest. “Nothing.” He said bringing his other arm to hold you close to him. “Seems like something.” Your fingers crawled up his massive chest as you looked up at him through your lashes. Craning his neck, his lips met yours, sucking on your bottom lip before going in for another kiss. You pulled him closer to you enjoying the subtle taste of wine on his tongue as they danced their way with one another. The two of you didn’t even care about the surveillance in the elevator. When the doors opened Kylo held your hand as he walked you towards your quarters. He looked you deep in the eye as he brushed a curl behind your ear. “Goodnight,” He whispered before heading for his quarters. Kylo entered with a sigh before there was a knock on the door. Opening it, you appeared with that wild look in your eye that he loved so much. Without hesitation, you jumped wrapping your legs around him. Your lips latched onto his as his strong arms held you tightly. Kylo stumbled back hitting the back of his knees and landing on the couch. “Y/N,” His low rich voice sent shivers up your spine. A smile was pressed against his lips before pressing a gentle kiss to his pink lips. Nothing was said but he could feel your heart just swelling at how he made you feel. A low groan slipped pass his full lips causing Kylo to pull you into a deeper kiss.

“Commander!” There was a knock on the door that caused them to pause. Y/N looked down with pleading eyes as Kylo’s were locked on the door. Another knock rang out and Kylo gently moved her aside to stand. “Can’t you just ignore it?” Your lips fell into a pout. He cradled your face in the palm of his hand. “I’ll be back Nyneve.” You looked down to hide your blushing expression as he used the nickname he had picked up on one of your missions. Nyneve was an alluring immortal being that had been worshipped by the people of the planet Avalon, she held power and saved many like no man before or after. You weren’t used to the name seeing someone like you shouldn’t be compared to someone with such a high-caliber. “You will be.” He squished your cheeks making you smile. “Now wait for me on the bed.” You shook your head and made your way to his large bed. He watched your figure disappear into the next room before he left.

* * *

He stomped down the hallways frowning after the ridiculous meeting. A banging caused him to snap out of his thoughts. He looked around the hallway to see no one but still heard the banging. He walked up to the panel and inspected it. Using the force he removed the panel revealing none other than Serena. Before he could ignite fear throughout her body, she moved forward clinging herself to him. Kylo took a step back as her grip tightened. She peered up at him with a stream of tears falling from her large Persian orange eyes. “Your eyes?” Kylo remembered them being green and right after he questioned her, they shifted to obsidian black. She unlatched herself from him and quickly ran to her quarters. Kylo stood there contemplating if he should just let her be, but for some reason, he decided to follow her. It wasn’t long before he was hot on her trail on the back of her heel as he cornered her in a sequestered hallway. He stalked closer to see green eyes but one a few shades darker than the other. He watched her quiver before him as mixed emotions consumed her. “Was it the-” “Troopers.” Her fragile voice spoke with his. He sighed as he recalled the countless taunting he had to deal with as Matt.  “I’ll take care of it.” He sighed not knowing why he had the urge to help the annoying technician. Before he could leave she laid a small hand on his arm. “Thank you.” He was transfixed on her eyes that were now a fluorescent blue. It reminded him of something from his past, he flinched and removed himself from her and made his ways back to his quarters. He couldn’t shake the sight of her glowing blue eyes that brought up haunting memories and the kiss that should’ve never happened. Serena filled his mind, he forgot that you were waiting for him, sleeping peacefully in one of his black long sleeve shirts. He quickly removed his attire and made his way to you, careful not to disturb. He looked around him in this cold room, your warm beautiful figure beside him, his powers, his title and yet when Serena looked at him with those eyes he felt like B- “Kylo?” You muttered in your sleep turning to rest your head on his chest. He tensed as your fingers grazed his bare chest. He had to remember, he was Kylo Ren and he would not succumb to weakness.


	4. Part 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s about…to go…DOWN!

Whispers spread that THE Kylo Ren was having unprofessional relationships with a female worker. Which is why Y/N sat in front of a monitor watching her and Kylo make out in the elevator. Hux accent clipped as he went on scolding her as she tried to keep a strong gaze on the screen. “How could you be so careless?” Hux criticized. You were surprised you weren’t in tears from the thick disappointment in his voice and your insomnia creeping up on you. “I was informed that an unauthorized being has been notified of your relationship with Ren as well.” Hux rolled his eyes. Your (y/e/c) eyes broke your gaze and fell to the empty chair beside you. “Where is he?” Your voice wavered, but it was still strong. “He deemed the meeting…” He paused to find the right word. He didn’t want to hurt you but show you that you were better off without Kylo. “Unimportant.” That stung. You were doing so well until that word fell from Hux’s lips. It was one thing to be punished for your actions, but it was different when this specific action had to deal with him as well. There was a heavy silence that was accompanied by the feelings of sadness that filled the room as Hux watch your head hang. Squeezing his hands, the leather squeaked; Hux slowly made his way next to you and placed his hand on your shoulder. Clearing his throat, he stood tall “Be wise and be graceful. You have far more to lose than he does. Remember you deserved every accomplishment you’ve ever earned Y/N.’’ You looked up at him and nodded. “You are dismissed.”

Walking down the identical hallways, you found your mind caught in a state of sleep and reality. It was almost like a dream as your feet led you down the halls, but it was almost like a simulator. A stray strand fell in front of your face and no matter how many times you pushed it back it always fell. The limbs at your side felt heavy and your dry throat aches for something cool and refreshing. Unimportant: lacking important or significance. Did Kylo really feel that way? Maybe he thought it was just a meeting and had nothing to do with you. Even though Hux hated the idea of you dating his enemy, he would’ve told him the topic of the meeting. And couldn’t Kylo just read his mind? All these thoughts ran through your mind trying to justify the big misunderstanding. But at this point, you really did feel unimportant as you maneuvered through the halls of the base. You almost felt invisible as everyone passed you by without a glance, which only happens when you were with one of the supreme trio members themselves. Your feet had stopped and you found yourself in the mess hall. You hummed gratefully as you made your way to get some water.

Your back faced the crowd as all sounds seemed to muddle together except one. A string of giggles caused you to tense as you waited for your drink to be dispensed. “Well, he’s really handsome.” A voice cooed. “Very, too bad for that scar.” “I quite like the scar, shows he’s not afraid to get dirty.” “And you like dirty, we know.” “But, unfortunately, he’s taken.” You gripped the bottle hearing the last voice. It was Ava’s and of course she would rat you out. Just having Lucky wasn’t enough for her. The girls all begged for Ava to continue until another familiar voice entered the conversation. “He’s mine.” You turned, watching the all-female table from the other side of the room. “Really?” Ava snorted. All eyes were on Serena as everyone disregarded. “He kissed me!” She said quickly and it caught the whole table’s attention. “I see him in the hallways a lot, he’s always staring at me which was weird at first. He’s helped keep the troopers from bothering me.” Her voice was still soft but Y/N heard every word. “Ok but, how was the kiss?” Someone asked. “His lips are so full, there a little rough but he’s so dominant and passionate. You can’t help but let him take control.” Serena blushed. You took a step back colliding with the wall. The table turned to look at you, Ava began to snicker as Serena looked down from being caught by you. You couldn’t believe what Serena had said especially since Kylo would always express his distaste for the girl. But maybe it was just a cover-up?

Fleeing the mess hall, you turned down various hallways to get as far from people as possible. Caught up in your mind, you collided with a large white chest. “Woah, Angel” Lucky braced you. “Are you okay?” The sympathy could be heard even through the vocoder. You looked up at him taking calculated breaths. What would you tell him? Not that you’re fine because you really weren’t. “Don’t say fine, I’ve known you for too long to know that there’s something bothering you.” Lucky spoke softly. You still didn’t answer. He sighed and let go of you so he could remove his helmet. “You don’t have to tell me, you know that, right? I’ll always be there.” Looking into his blue eyes you felt yourself on the verge of tears because you wanted to tell him everything, he had the right, he was your best friend. But at the same time, you were confused and unsure of everything. “I just, I just want to disappear for awhile. Where no one can find me.” You said lowly. He shook his head. “I can do that.” He smirked. Putting on his helmet he leads you through a maze of hallways until the only sound that could be heard was the hum of machines and your footsteps.

You looked around and noticed that there were no cameras and you thanked the makers for that. You didn’t know if you could take another security camera appearance again. Lucky stopped in front of the room and punched in the access code. Entering the room, you looked around seeing a counter, fridge, a sink, a coffee table, and a twin bed. Everything was so white, it made you feel cautious not to touch anything. “Whose room is this?” You asked. “Someone’s.” Lucky removed his helmet. “Lucky!” You turned to scold him. “Relax, Angel.” He chuckled. “On the base they make extra rooms and some people assign fake identities to them.” You sat on the twin bed. “So who owns this?” You asked. “Tallulah Roman, communications officer, and decoder.” He told you as he stood near the door. Even though it was just you two, he still stood guard. “Lucky, please sit with me.” You scooted and he obliged. His gloved fingers tapped at his armor to fill the awkward silence. “So…how was your day?” He asked. “I don’t want to talk about that.” You sighed. “Did you enjoy our date?” Lucky looked at you with those childish blue eyes as he was cautious of how he phrased the question. “It was ok, I don’t know, it was my first double date.” You shrugged playing with your fingers. “Did you enjoy our date?” It was your time to look up at him with those eyes. Lucky just shrugged “Would’ve been better if it was just us. We don’t need all that fancy dinner and dress up stuff. A holovid, nutmeat and jelly sandwich, and those nasty Galaxy Buns are fine with me!” He gave you a bright smile and you couldn’t help but giggle. You missed hanging with Lucky in such a low-key manner.

Silence set in before you found another topic. “One of my old informants is coming to visit me on the base.” You spoke up. “Oh, which one?” Lucky asked; he knew some of those under you back when you were a consultant and actually considered them acquaintances. “Jacek, you remember him?” “Jacek, the blue one right?” Lucky tilted his head. “Yes, the blue one.” You giggled. “Oh I liked him, he was a cookie-cutter but I liked him.” You couldn’t help but shake your head at his insult-compliment. “Anyways, he’s coming to fill me in on some of the planets that have sought out an alliance with the Order. I’m going to show him around the base, he’s never been on any base before. Can you believe that?” You chuckled. Lucky’s brows furrowed slightly watching yourself become giddy. He remembered there was always some unspoken feelings that never budded between the two. One main reason being how heavily dedicated you both were to the Order and the Order didn’t necessarily support such relationships. Two the pair were barely in the prime of their careers, why would you throw it all away for some unpredictable relationship. And three, them being on separate ships. Even though he hated the idea, he always felt you and Jacek would be a great couple, complacent and dedicated to the Order. Stars, to be completely honest Jacek, Angel, and their litter of mixed breed kids could have probably served as the good-looking poster family for the First Order. The conversations ranged from many topics until Angel felt she was ready to be with the world again. “Thanks, Lucky.” You hugged him. “No problem Angel. Same time tomorrow?” He smiled. “Lucky, I don’t know.” You gnawed at your lip because it was really tempting. “Angel, I’m your personal trooper, I’m at your beck and call all cycle. That’s all you need and I’ll swoop in and rescue you. I’m only one call away.” You looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. “I’ll take you up on that. Thank you Lucky, I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” You hugged him once more. “It’s nothing, you’re my Angel.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head.

* * *

It was late as you approached Kylo’s quarters. You didn’t even know if he was there but once the door slid open it answered your question. “What is bothering you?” Kylo asked as you made your way into his quarters. You were unsure what you wanted to say or even know, but you knew if you kept it in any longer it would eat at you. “Do you think I’m important?” Your voice was above a whisper. “What?” His voice boomed because he couldn’t hear you. “D-do you think I’m important?” You said a little louder, still nervous. He scrunched his face unclear of where this came from. “You didn’t show up to the meeting today because you deemed it unimportant, why?” You took steps toward him. “I had training with my Knights and you would be there so-” “Did you know what it was about?” You cut him off, moving closer. “Yes, it was about our relationship, you were there and I thought I needn’t b-” You cut him off once again approaching him and he felt frozen under your calculated yet calm demeanor.  “You thought, you thought that it was unimportant seeing as if I was there you needn’t be because I’m the only one who represents a relationship that consists of two people. Which makes sense as to why I was being scolded for actions that involved both of us.” Your nerves started to dissipate as your voice held nothing but seriousness. It was strange how he could feel no type of emotion from her at this point but from the words she spoke, he knew she was upset.

Kylo had truly nothing to say and Y/N thought she should just continue with her unanswered questions. “Is there someone else?” You tilted your head. Kylo was clearly taken aback. “Why would you think that?” He scoffed. “Today I heard someone talking about you kissing them and from the hidden clues, I could piece together it was you.” For some reason, even though you were upset at the technician you still found yourself protecting her. Your calm voice honestly scared Kylo, now he knew what it felt like when you negotiated with those planets; which coincidentally he enjoyed watching you break down those leaders. The void of emotion but the use of certain words tugged at his fear and emotions, even if you did it to shield your own true feelings.“Nyneve, I would never.” With one step he was in front of you, holding you. “Y/N I would never hurt you with such a thing.” His deep brown eyes searched your face frantically which still held the expressionless look. “Kylo, I don’t-” You sighed releasing yourself, walking to the door, you turned. “I’d understand that we are both inexperienced and for someone of your status to want to explore with different partners, I just don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t want my heart to be an inconvenience. If you would like to brea-” With all his strength his arms locked you between him and the door. “NO!” He growled. You flinched and he was satisfied with breaking this facade you had been showing. “You are mine,” He said slowly dark eyes peering into your (y/e/c) eyes and into your soul. He could feel the fear rise within you and his heart drop at for causing this. “And I’m-” But before he could try to make it better you move forward making him move back. “I’m no ones, especially if you try to scare me into submission.” With that, you left his room leaving his chest heaving.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Kylo found himself stalking towards the room of his favorite technician. He used the force to open the door, revealing Serena’s large black eyes peering at him in fear. It didn’t take long before he had her pressed up against the wall with one hand around her neck. Her fingers clawed at his hand. “Why did you speak about me?” Kylo asked. “Why did you tell others about the kiss?” He squeezed tightly. A cry slipped passed her lips as the darkness spread throughout her whole eye making it look like two black holes. He loosened his group just a little allowing her to talk. “I-I…just wanted to…p-protect her…th-they were going to t-talk.” She croaked. “Why?” He squeezed tighter. “B-Because I-” He could see in her mind how much she looked up to Angel, enjoyed and looked forward to the attention that Y/N have given her, being her perfect little follower. “You worship her.” He retracted his hand from her neck and watched her as the black retreated into the iris and lightened to an amber hue. “You shouldn’t.” Kylo spat. Serena’s fingers traced the welts that were forming on her throat. “Angel is a selfless, brilliant, wonde-” She stepped forward to praise the woman, baring her teeth like a wild Nexus. “SHE IS NO ANGEL!” Kylo’s voice rose with each word causing her to stop. “It is people like you, that she thinks she can get whatever she wants. Who admire and speak about her like some God. You don’t think I hear how highly everyone regards her; telling tales as if she’s a deity. She is cold, she is calculated, she is devoid of any emotion until she gets her way. And as long as there are people like you, she will always get her way.” He released his clench fist after feeling the anger slowly dissipate. Her orbs turned to peridot green as she shook her head in disbelief. “I tell you this and you still don’t believe me. Me, your Commander.” He growled at Serena. “But she is impeccable.” Kylo sighed at the technicians’ response. Composing himself, he began to leave her room. He didn’t know why but the technician always made him feel weak. He was out the door before he felt a small hand on his back. “I’m sorry Commander. I won’t disobey you.” Her eyes were a dull gray. Kylo’s lips tugged from successfully changing her views.

* * *

It had been four days since you seen Kylo. You didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. But as of right now, you were thankful. Even though you still haven’t been receiving the necessary amount of sleep you felt you still exuded the calm, collected working woman look. Fixing your greatcoat, the door knocked. You opened it revealing Lucky, you smiled and followed him to the boardroom. Over Lucky’s shoulder, you could make out the midnight blue hair hidden under the black officer cap. A small smile graced your lips as you could start to make out his features before a familiar face popped up. “Ambassador,” Kylo looked at you. Your expression fell as the stir of emotions got the best of you. “Commander,” You nodded making your way to your seat and getting your emotions situated. The meeting went smoothly as Jacek filled you, Kylo, Hux, Phasma, and a few others on the potential planets. You couldn’t help but be proud because you knew how soft-spoken he was when you had first met him. The meeting concluded and General Hux was pleased with the outcome of so many potential planets, he even went up to the man and praised him. “Thank you, General Hux.” Jacek politely nodded. “But in all honesty, I’d have to thank Ambassador L/N who had been a perfect example for me.” Hux’s heart swelled as he turned to look at Y/N who was humbly shaking her head. “No Jacek, that was all you. I’m very proud, you’re one of our best informants.” You smiled, causing his cheeks to tint into a burgundy color. Hux rose a brow as he watched the two speak in a shy conversation and bright eyes. Hux wasn’t the only one to notice, so did Kylo. Kylo began to stomp his way over to the officer before Hux intercepted. “L/N, why don’t you take Guss on a tour of the base?” He placed his hand on her back slowly pushing her toward Jacek. “Ok,” You smiled up at him, before turning to see a scowling Kylo. “Commander, we have some business to intend to in my office that has been delayed too many times already.” Hux passively told Kylo. He looked at you and then to Hux before making an exit.

* * *

“I’m pretty sure Y/N has told you about our previous meeting.” Hux sat in his chair behind his desk. “Yes and has expressed the lies you fed her.” Kylo stood there seething. “Lies? I guess ‘unimportant’ is far worse than the continuous scoffs, the roll of the eyes, and the ‘I’m the Commander, I suffer no punishments. I only signed that stupid little contract for her sake’.” Hux folded his hands on his desk. “Real loving Ren.” Kylo banged his hands on the desk. “There’s only one way you can punish me and that’s Snoke. You wouldn’t dare punish me because by telling him, you’d rat yourself out and he’d find out about her. The way your feelings guide you to protect her you would never tell him about your precious little Angel.” Kylo’s eyes grew darker, he smirked in satisfaction when Hux recoiled. “There are other ways to get back at you, Ren.” Hux spat. A dark chuckle left Kylo’s lips. “I can make her leave you,” Hux said. Another chuckle left him “And how, do you plan on doing that?” Kylo was clearly amused. Turning around the monitor, it revealed Kylo leaving Serena’s room after their late night interaction. Kylo’s mouth fell slightly as he stared at the repetitive video because he knew how Hux would play this. “I show her this and she will be heartbroken and I told you before: you will not treat this as a game. NOW SIT!” And for the first time, Kylo listened to Hux.

“This…technician,” Hux snarled. “I inquire this is recent because she’s only been here less than eight months.” Kylo’s nostril flared. “Nothing happened.” Hux tilted his head. “Nothing? Your reaction and that action displayed on the screen looks like it’s far from nothing Ren?” Kylo sat there quiet unsure of what to say. “Was it the lowering rank and sense of control you held over the girl that drew you to her? I know you’re very fond of technicians.” Hux chuckled remembering Matt. “I’ve done nothing. She’s done nothing.” Kylo growled. A smirk grew on the redheads face. “Clearly, she has.” Hux drummed his fingers on the desk before wrapping up this session. “Well Ren you sure are on thin ice and I’m not the best for romance counseling, but for Y/N’s sake, I say you have two options: tell her or leave her.” His blue eyes glanced at the screen. Kylo sucked in a breath before storming out of the room. Everyone braced themselves against the wall as their Commander marched down the halls. He didn’t want to tell you about Serena, you were clearly already bothered by it and it would make it even worse. But if you found out, you would become that distant, emotionless creature he hated. Even if it was the just pure rage, he showed emotion when bothered. It was just one big misunderstanding. Kylo saw you and Jacek walk through the corridor, he saw you trip over the threshold and Jacek place a blue hand on your lower back to steady you. “Are you alright?” Jacek’s eyes filled with worry as he helped you steady yourself. “Yes,” You said lowly not being able to look into his eyes without blushing. “I’m still the old clumsy Consultant.” You peered up at him seeing the burgundy tint resurface on his cheeks again.

He opened his mouth to say something but his face quickly distorted. He inhaled sharply and reached up to undo his collar. “Jacek, are you alright?” You moved forward. His eyes darted behind you and you turned with a gasp. “NO!” You ran up to him tugging at his arm. Kylo released the man and set his focus on you. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared by the insane look in his eyes. “You come at me for thinking you’re unimportant and seeing someone when you’re openly flirting with your subordinate.” You furrowed your brows. “Excuse me, Com-” Kylo laughed at you. “Don’t play innocent Y/N, don’t use titles.” You shook your head as eyes began to fall on the two of you. “That’s why you wanted it to be a secret so you can whore around-” Fire began to rise behind your irises. Kylo just smirked as he knew he hit a nerve. “Ah, there it is.” He smirked. “You do not get to talk to me or treat my officers as such.” You said through gritted teeth. He felt the anger surround him as you continued to play this game. “STOP THE CHARADE, PUT DOWN THE FACADE AND ACT LIKE I’M IMPORTANT!” He teased as he stalked towards you. Y/N didn’t know if she was frozen in place by fear or the force. Hux turned the corner just in time to see the scene unfolding. Officers and troops stood watching the Commander lash out at the Ambassador. Even though he was yelling, Hux had no idea what Kylo was saying but saw your fear stricken body frozen in front of the terrorizing Ren. He had to do something that wouldn’t alert the force user and put you in any danger. But that quickly went out the window when Hux saw Kylo raise his hand to you. Hux removed his blaster from his holster and shot Kylo. Surprisingly, it was on stun and Kylo turned to face Hux. Soon, Hux was ordering all troopers to stun Kylo. With a loud thud, Kylo fell out. Hux moved toward you, shouting orders at those around him. “Get Officer Guss to the medbay, Find Ren’s Knights, Get Phasma and FN-0777, NOW!”

* * *

You sat in Phasma’s quarters alongside Lucky and Phasma who was pacing in front of the two. She was ranting off a load of curses at Kylo, especially after the numerous times she had supported him throughout this whole relationship endeavor. Lucky had you engulfed in his arms as the two sat on the couch. “Y/N,” It was the first time, in a long time, Lucky had called you by your name. “Did he ever?” Lucky couldn’t find the words afraid of triggering you if it did happen. You shook your head. “No,” “You’d tell me if he did, right?” Lucky looked you in the eye. “Yes,” It fell so softly from your lips, Lucky was unsure if you would makers forbid it ever happened. “Promise?” His blue eyes were steady on your (y/e/c) eyes. “I promise.” You nodded. The door opened causing everyone to look up. Hux walked in poised as ever but his blue eyes were quite disheveled. “What happened?” Phasma moved toward him. “Snoke request an audience with Kylo and me.” He told Phasma. His eyes then fell on you. “And he would like Y/N to accompany us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: I mean….what can I say 


	5. Part 25

Phasma stormed down the hallway with her blaster tight against her armored-chest. Everyone either scurried out of the hallway or was pressed against the walls with eyes averted as Phasma, Hux, Lucky, and you, made their way down the hallway. You were sandwiched between Phasma and Lucky, with Hux by your side holding your hand extremely tight. It was between comfortably tight and punishingly tight. The walk to the hangar seemed longer than usual and the pressure in the back of your head didn’t make it any better. Finally, the four made it to the transport; Phasma and Lucky stood by letting the General and Ambassador walk up the ramp. “I will contact once we make it onto the Supremacy.” Hux told Phasma. Even though Lucky’s helmet was on, you knew his eyes were on you. You forced a small smile on your face before the ramp closed.

You’ve never seen Hux so nervous, even though it was small twitches and movements, it was a lot for him. It was a simple transport and didn’t require much time so Hux took this time to talk to you about the Supreme Leader. “Supreme Leader is a very…powerful man and expects to be treated as one.” He started off slowly. “You will bow when in front of him, not to close, not to far. The floor is reflective, when you start to see the red from the walls show, stop and bow.” You nodded. “He will ask you questions and you will answer all of them truthfully, you hear me?” His blue eyes shifted until you answered with a yes. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t scared; after today’s events and Hux’s strange behavior, you just wanted to wake up from this bad dream. “Don’t speak, unless spoken too. Don’t move, unless commanded. Do not think thoughts that will be reprimanded. Address him as Supreme Leader, be careful never let your guard down.” Hux rambled as his fingers moved to fix your appearance. His fingers began to shove the greatcoat off you. “Don’t wear this. He will use it as…a weapon.” He gulped, folding it and hiding it in a compartment. He continued to talk until the transport landed. Opening the door, two large Praetorian guards stood with weapon in hand. One guard looked at the General and nodded. You watched the silent interaction, before Hux began to follow one and the other signal for you to follow them.

* * *

Kylo and Hux stood in front of Supreme Leader Snoke. They always dreaded this, but this day was possibly worse than losing to the Resistance. “I’ve never thought the day, that you two would work together would be for the protection of some girl.” Snoke’s beady eyes looked between them, as they hung their head low. “Tell me, who is she?” He asked and none of them answered. Snoke fist collided with his throne creating a thunderous roar. “She’s the Ambassador-at-large, former Chief Consultant to the First Order and Galactic Relations. She graduated a year early, top of her class at the academy-” Hux told Snoke. “Even with a late start.” Snoke hummed, causing Hux to stop talking. Silence filled the air as he looked between his two minions. “She seems to know the right men t-DO NOT LET YOUR FEELINGS INTERFERE, GENERAL!” Snoke’s bony fingers clenched tightly as the ginger clawed at his throat. Kylo watched from the side eye, with his head still hanging low. He released him and Hux began to get his breath back. “It’s strange how you care so deep, yet would allow her a relationship with a man you despise so much. I see you think of her as a possible successor, but haven’t had the time, focusing on the production of the base.” Snoke hummed. “Understandable.” Snoke now looked at Kylo. “And you promote her to Ambassador for her to fall for you? Your feelings still guide you; is there anything you’d like to say?” His eyes watched his apprentice before sighing. “Clearly, you still are a child, with or without the mask. Bring in the girl.” The doors slid open and you followed the Praetorian guard until they began to move to the side. You remember Hux’s hint and when you began to see red, you kneeled down. “Supreme Leader,”

Snoke’s eyes watched over you. “You’ve taught her well, General.” Snoke chuckled. “Rise, my child.” Y/N did as he pleased. “Come closer,” He beckoned. You took a few steps standing behind Hux and Ren. Snoke’s fingers beckoned you to come closer. You walked closer to his throne as Kylo and Hux watched you with wary eyes. He stepped down from his throne causing you to stop. He was extremely tall as he began to tower over you as he proceeded to move towards you. You held his blue-eyed gaze as his face contorted into an emotion you couldn’t put your finger on. “You respectfully fear me.” A light chuckle fell from his lips. “I commend you.” Both the men, looked at each other as Snoke continued with Y/N. Snoke tilted his head at you. “Something about you, I find…interesting.” He told her, before he raised his hand to her head. As if on cue, Y/N opened her mind to Snoke. The two men watched as amazement filled the Supreme Leader’s face, a sight they’ve never seen before. Snoke’s eyes then fell on the two men. “Leave us.”

* * *

Kylo and Hux made their way out of the throne room and down to empty corridor with a large window where you could see the Apocalypse surrounded by a litter of stars. There was a strong silence between the men as Hux stood by watching the stars. Hux could feel Kylo’s eyes bore in the back of his head. “What is it?” Hux voice clipped. For the first time, Hux heard Kylo’s voice in the softest tone ever. “Are you in love with Y/n?” Hux turned to shoot him a disgusted look. “Ren are you serious! Yes, I love her!” He grumbled taking a seat on the empty white couch. “Like a father loves a daughter.” He sighed. Kylo’s brown gaze was steady on Hux’s relaxed figure. “Everyone knows that Grand Admiral Sloane protected me from Brendol, but no one knows that I was usually in the care of Lead Commodore L/N.” Hux squeezed the bridge of his nose with the tip of his fingers. “Y/N’s mother was a maternal figure for me despite Sloane’s request. You can say there was always a soft spot for Y/N because of the impact of her mother. I never liked him.” He snarled “Her father, a Commodore on another fleet.” He looked into the distance. “I met Y/N when she was three, after he had pressured Lead Commodore to step down and focus on their ‘family’. At the same time, speculations of his loyalty started to arise, hence the visit to their new living arrangement on an ally planet.” His lips tugged up into a rare smile that Hux had only granted Y/N and Phasma to see.“She was terribly smart for her age, in-tuned with everyone and her surroundings, curious, like all children but on a deeper level.” A full smile was now plastered on his face. “She had the chubbiest cheeks and wore two curly puffs and used to call me Armie. Besides helping the foundation of the First Order, the only good thing Brendol ever done was warn her of her traitorous husband.” Kylo’s head tilted. “Her mother?” His voice had shaken something in Hux and could see it as his blue eyes shifted. “Yes” He sighed. “They were able to flee before the persecution as Y/N’s father denounced the Empire and siding with the scums, but it still was there even in her absence.” Hux eyes casted down to peer at his bony hands.

“But then you saved them.” Kylo said, wanting Hux to continue with his story. “No, I found Y/N at the academy. How she got in with her name still questions me till this day, but when I saw her, I knew I had to protect her. It’s the only way I could repay her for everything she’s done.” Hux sighed again. “What happened to her mother? Did she remember you? Was her hire intentional?” Kylo inquired. Hux shot him daggers at the last question as his eyes started to redden. “NO, the position needed to be filled and out of all the applicants they gave me she was best fit. The only problem was she wasn’t of age, but an exception would be made to wait a year. She graduated earlier than expected and was one of the reasons I became her superior and guardian. She didn’t recognize me, she was too young to remember.” Kylo could see the memory Hux was playing in his mind:

> _You stood across from Hux in your light gray academy uniform. Hux was there listening to your answer to the question he had recently asked. But he was more focused on how much you looked like your father but were everything like your mother, it scared him. “General?” Your (y/e/c) seemed like bright beams piercing his soul. “Y/N,” He said slowly, which took you by surprised because he always called you by L/N. “You have the job, it’s yours.” A smile lit up your face, his as well because it was your mother’s smile. “You have your mother’s smile.” He said and it took you off guard. “I-I used to, she used to take care of me, as well as Sloane. I don’t know if she’d talk about that.” Hux stammered afraid he had scared the girl. “I used to come visit as often as I could, do you remember, you used to call me Armie.” Your chest started to rise as your brows furrowed. Out of character, Hux began to softly sing the lullaby that your mother sang to you every night and soon you fell in tune with him. A soft smile and a few tears spread across both their faces. “She’s dead.” Was all you said before the dream stopped._

There was a pressure in the back of his head and Kylo knew they were being summoned back. Kylo and Hux made their way to the throne room only to hear a strange sound. “Is that,” Hux scrunched his face up. “Laughter?” The blast doors slid open to reveal a disturbing sight: Snoke’s smile. Kylo and Hux walked in with a look of confusion on their face as Y/N quieted her laughter. “I see why you were drawn to her. A mind like hers has the perfect balance of control, allowing her to make decisions by letting her knowledge, emotions, and experience help her find the right one. You could learn something from her Kylo, because of this I will let your relations continue.” Kylo looked away from his master trying to hide his thoughts. “Your talents have been wasted my child, though your contributions will not go unnoticed.” “Thank you,” You nodded. “You will no longer be an Ambassador, under close advisement you will be a Lieutenant General.” Your face lit up at the words of the Supreme Leader. Hux watched as you gave him a bright smile that reminded him of how your mother would look. He was happy, truly happy, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t want Y/N getting involved with Snoke. “Thank you Supreme Leader, I-I won’t let you down.” You smiled brightly cause his lips to twist into a crooked smile. “I know you won’t my child. The two of you will be staying on the Supremacy for a week.” Snoke told Hux and Y/N, his gaze then turned to his apprentice. “Is there anything you’d like to say?” All eyes were on Kylo as he just stood there shaking his head. “Ren you’re dismissed.” Kylo nodded and turned giving you one last look. You couldn’t help but feel hurt as he looked at you as if you were his enemy.

* * *

Kylo was stepping on the transport when he heard his name being called. He turned around to see you running up to him. Hux stood a few feet back giving you enough space, but close enough to still observe your safety. Kylo took a step back into the transport to allow you space and to keep the pair from watchful eyes. Your breathing was heavy and he could feel your emotions hit him in fluctuating waves as he stood in front of you. He hadn’t felt this from you in a long time. Your small hands took both of his in yours as you looked at him with watery eyes. “I’m going to miss you.” You said trying to hold back tears. “I just don’t know if I, if we should keep doing this.” The tears started to stream down your face. “I love you Kylo, I just-” You began to choke on your tears. “I…I don’t want you to hate me, Kylo. I just don’t know what to do.” Kylo’s hand softly touched your cheek and you melted in his touch. “We will make it work.” He wiped the tears from your face. Kylo watched as you exited the ship and it watched it depart from your spot. The things you said and the emotion that poured off of you had really affected him, even if you couldn’t see it. And you loved him, after everything, you loved him! It had been the second time those three words had left your lips, so why he couldn’t say them to you?

* * *

It was a whole week without you and Kylo didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t realize how much you had affected him. From the transport to the sector that housed all the high officers, his mind couldn’t stop thinking about how you loved him. How you were IN love with him. He still remembered when you first told him and it had shaken him to the core that he had to leave. And right now he was doing the same thing, even if he had no choice in staying on the Supremacy. But it was the second time you said and the second time he did nothing. If he continued this you would eventually leave him; between the first time and second time he had done so many things that could eventually lead to the downfall of their relationship. He waved his hand opening the blast doors and walking in. He let out a sigh, how could someone like you be in love with him? Love seemed so foreign to him, he had detached himself from affection when he crossed over to become Kylo. But somehow meeting you tapped into that unfilled part of his heart that he hadn’t received since he was a child with his mother. He used the force to start the water as he discarded his attire. He did really care for you but just went about it the wrong way; it was just sometimes his feelings were too much for him. Not to mention his journey to the dark side didn’t need a distraction from something as pure as you and the worst if Snoke had found out. But he had and it went way better in than expected. But Kylo wasn’t sure if he was in love with you as you were with him. The water collided with his muscles, looking up he saw himself in the mirror, sitting in your tub in your bathroom. Kylo was in YOUR room. At that moment he knew he did feel something for you and he had to show you how much you meant to him.

* * *

Kylo dedicated that whole week to finding you something perfect. If he wasn’t training or yelling at people, he was sulking in Y/N’s quarters using her bath and snuggling against her pillow taking in her scent. Every gift he had ever gotten you were Galaxy Buns, you loved them for sure, but now their relationship was straining and you were a Lieutenant General! Jewelry wouldn’t suffice because it wasn’t allowed. So he needed something better. It wasn’t until he was training that he realized the diplomatic missions that the two of you went on while you were the Ambassador would cease. You would no longer be by his side and that made Kylo sad. His full lips tugged down in a pout as his lightsaber slashed across the training bot. It was then when he thought about getting you your own droid. The droid would watch over you and keep you company when he was away. He wouldn’t just get it for you, he would build it for you! All the parts were delivered to your room where he worked on his free time to put the droid together. It was a BB-droid, BB-9 to be exact. Kylo was slightly excited to get his hands on this because deep down inside he couldn’t help the fact that he always found mechanics fascinating, one thing him and his grandfather’s former selves shared. It was getting close to your arrival and he was frustrated. He was a little rusty, but something wasn’t right. Every time he would move a wire or bolt, the droid would malfunction. Kylo hated the fact that he needed help and he only gave into calling a technician two days before you were due. He heard the knock and stalked his way to the blast door.

“You.” He peered down his angular nose. Large peridot eyes with swirls of yellow stared back at him. “Why are you here?” Kylo’s voice boomed. “I-I was told to-to report here, sir.” The difference in volume made her feel like a mouse. “Why?” He asked again. “I-I’m here to help with t-the droid, sir.” She stammered out. “I want another technician.” He crossed his arms. “I’m t-the only one c-certified in astromech d-droids, sir.” Kylo sighed and turned. “Of, course you are.” Serena took tentative steps into the room taking in the decor. Not to be judgemental but she believed it wasn’t bland enough to be the Commanders. It seemed open, bright, and inviting; she noticed small but luxurious trinkets that turned the stale First Order quarters into a home. The sunlight came through the washing into the large window highlighting a vase of white Alstroemerias. Her eyes turned a pale pink as she realized this wasn’t the Commander’s quarters. “This is Angel’s quarters!” She gasped, dropping her toolbox. Her hands brushed lightly over everything, observing like an excited child in a museum. “Don’t touch anything!” Kylo yelled causing her to freeze; he watched her blue eyes go to green then fade to yellow. He let out a huff before returning to the droid. “Now, if you’re ready to be professional, there’s something wrong with this droid. I’m doing everything correctly.” He lied. Serena nodded and took a look at the droid.

“Are you doing this for Angel, sir?” She asked. “She is your superior, address her as such!” Kylo scolded. “Are you doing this for the Ambassador, sir?” She asked peering up at him with orange orbs. “Yes, this is for the Lieutenant General.” He said. Her head cocked to the side before her eyes turned ultra pink. “SHE GOT PROMOTED!” Kylo watched as the girl excitement grew and began yelling about how perfect Y/N was and how she deserved it and how she couldn’t wait to tell everyone. “No, you can’t tell anyone!” He pointed at her. She shut her mouth and nodded. Kylo was thankful as she returned to look at the droid. “I see what happened,” Serena spoke. “You wired it wrong and the gears are in the wrong place.” Kylo took a step forward. “I did not.” His voice was loud. “Okay sir,” Her eyes went to tangerine. Kylo rolled his eyes and snatched the bot from her hand. “I’ll show you, I know EXACTLY what I’m doing.” Kylo began to take it apart and build it again. Serena watched with aurelion eyes unsure if she should tell the Commander that he was placing the parts in the wrong place. After a few minutes, he stopped and looked at her with annoyance. “STOP!” He yelled. “Your thoughts are so loud, you’re making me mess up!” Serena jumped back at his hiss. “I-I’m so-sorry, I just want to help.” Her voice fell soft on his ears and he sighed giving in. Serena did help but let the Commander build the droid since that was the whole point of the gift. Occasionally, she would take over as her fingers were much smaller and could fit in tight spots. Under those forty-eight hours, Kylo found her company okay. It was mainly because they talked about mechanics when it wasn’t about Angel. Kylo didn’t realize how much he missed these talks that he used to have very often when he was younger.

They spent the remaining cycles together fixing the BB unit as a team effort. He could sense that Serena was no longer anxious around him, but he didn’t need the force to tell him, he just had to look at her eyes. For a few hours, they turned navy and remained that color until he had ordered her lunch which turned indigo. “I have to use the bathroom, where is it?” Serena asked throwing her meal away. Kylo tilted his head. “You work on this ship you should know.” Kylo was fixated on the droid. “The public restroom is three corridors down! I’ll never make it!” She pleaded. He sighed. “Fine, it’s in the bedroom to the left…DO NOT… TOUCH ANYTHING!” Kylo yelled as the tech fell out of view. Serena walked into the large refresher with wide pink eyes. It was truly meant for someone like Angel, the grand tub, marble counters, wide mirrors, soft lighting. The only thing was all of her contents that stood on the sink were out of place, like if they were pushed out of the way. Probably Commander Ren, she thought. Without hesitation, she began to organize everything from size, color, and name. While doing this she almost dropped a glass bottle with a white ribbon on it. She caught it before it collided with anything. She took a closer look making out the symbols N1. Opening the cap her eyes turned burgundy. This was Angel’s scent. Of course, fragrance wasn’t allowed, but it was Angel, she could do whatever she wanted. The smell made Serena think that she tasted like sweet buttercream and fresh berries with a hint of cinnamon. She closed her eyes thinking of Angel’s smile as she could only dream of what it would be like to nuzzle into her neck and smell that smile every night and day. Looking at the bottle once more, she realized it was almost empty. Surely she wouldn’t be missing it, she probably had more; Serena secretly stuffed it inside the pant pocket of her tech suit.

She tried her best to walk out unsuspiciously. She was doing fine until his brown eyes locked with hers. “What does red mean?” Kylo wore a straight face as Serena’s face filled with a blush matching her eyes. “W-what?” She stammered. “Your eyes are red, well burgundy. When you’re scared they’re black, blue when relaxed, pink when you’re happy, green is so-so, orange confused, yellow anxious, what is red? You’ve never had red eyes.” Serena took in a deep breath. Something about the Commander taking such a deep notice and the bottle pressed against her leg stirred something inside her. “Let’s see if it works.” Her small finger pressed the button on the BB-unit causing it to stir and beep. A wide smile fell on Kylo’s pink lips. “We did it,” Kylo exclaimed and Serena nodded. “Yeah,” She whispered. The droid beeped. “He says thank you,” Kylo told her. “Yeah, yeah, I know. No problem little guy.” Serena smiled at the droid and moved to get her tools together as quickly as possible. Kylo remained on the floor watching her make her way out. “Technician,” Her title caused her stop, gulp, and turn. She knew she had been caught. “Thank you.” He bowed his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: That last part was supposed to be in 26, but 26 is LONGGGGGG.


	6. Part 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Long and NSFW

Hux looked you over with a little smirk. He was in awe of how much you’ve grown and shown exemplary leadership and skill in the week aboard the supremacy. Your (y/h/c) hair was slicked into a tight ponytail laid gently on your back. “I apologize your uniform won’t be here for a few cycles,” Hux spoke. You sent him a smile. “Hux, you really didn’t have to.” He just shook his head. Hux wanted nothing but the best, even if that meant designing your uniform himself because ‘to be the part, you have to look the part.’ “Well, as your guardian I beg to differ.” He said matter of factly. You turned to him with bright (y/e/c) eyes. “Thank you, Hux. And not just for the clothes, but for everything…You don’t know how much you mean to me.” You did your best to suppress your emotions. “My dear, you don’t even know how much you mean to me.” His smile dropped as he turned to you. “Darling I really want the best for you and if anything happens with Ren you need to tell me got it?” You nodded. “I take care of my own, I’ve been doing it for years with all the messes Brendol created.” He sighed. As your head cocked to the side; take care of his own? Brendol’s messes? “Do you mean siblings?” You whispered. Hux just nodded. “They’re all scattered throughout the Order; mostly petty workers or kitchen staff, as he was very fond of. I’m pretty sure you’ve crossed paths with some of them.”

* * *

It wasn’t long before the transport touched down on the base. Kylo stood with hands behind his back staring down the transport. Mixed emotions filled Kylo as it had been so long since he had seen you. A few feet away, stood Captain Phasma, Lucky, and other troopers standing at attention. Since his return, Phasma and Kylo’s exchanges had been strictly professional and she made sure to keep Lucky far from him. The door opened and Kylo’s eyes lit up as he watched you descend from the transport. Your greatcoat hung from your shoulders as you walked with an air of confidence that matched Hux’s. The pair walked towards those waiting. Kylo’s eyes locked with yours as Hux whispered something to you before joining Phasma. Kylo felt his breath quicken as you began to move closer to him. Soon enough he found himself staring at the face that had haunted him all week. As if she was reading his mind a small smile gifted her lips. Standing on her toes, she gently pressed her lips to his, his eyes closed savoring her touch. Phasma, Hux, and Lucky watched silently. Kylo’s eyes fluttered open to see her beautiful face. “You’ve already made it clear that we are together.” You shrugged.

Before Kylo could respond, beeps were being spouted through the air. Y/N’s eyes cast down to see a black BB-unit, separating them. You couldn’t help but find amusement in the fiery droid, who was very possessive of Kylo, who he called father. A blush swelled throughout his face. “It’s been a week and I’ve already been replaced.” Y/N chuckled. Every worker in the hangar watched this interaction through the side of their eye. Of course, everyone began to gossip whether or not the pair was really together, the incident and now this confirmed it. To be quite honest, it was so weird to see the Commander go from full of rage to a blushing boyfriend gifting his girlfriend. You lowered yourself down to get a better look at the droid. “What’s your name?” You asked. It beeped. “Nice to meet you BB-9E. Thank you for keeping him company.” You smiled. “It’s to keep you company,” Kylo spoke up, lowering to their level. “We won’t be going on any diplomatic missions anymore and I’m positive our work schedule will not permit us much time as before. So I built it for you.” Looking up, he saw the gleam in your (y/e/c) eyes. “Thank you.” Your hand went to rest on his, only to be shocked by the droid. “OW!” You retracted your hand causing the whole hangar to silence and eyes fall on the couple. “Maybe you should stick to commanding and not mechanics.” You joked, causing a few to stifle their laughter and Hux to outright snicker. Kylo tried his best to hide his anger, he really did. But it was obvious when he stood up stiffly. “You must be tired, I’ll walk you to your quarters.”

You stood up slowly, before taking a step, Lucky interjected with orders to select troopers. “FN-0777, I don’t think it is necessary for the escort.” Kylo sneered. “On the contrary, given her status, it is needed,” Phasma interjected standing in front of Lucky with her blaster strapped to her chest. Kylo’s eyes moved across the hangar. Everyone stood still watching their superiors stand against each other. “Very well.” Kylo nodded. The troopers fell in line surrounding Y/N and Kylo stood with BB-9E watching as they passed them. He waited a few minutes not to seem as if he was following them. By the time he made it to her quarters, the troopers were leaving. Kylo and the droid enter the quarters to see her moving about with furrowed brows. “What is it?” He asked. “Someone has been in my room.” You said taking notice of the things that were out of place. Kylo walked over to you slowly. “I’m sorry.” You turned to him as he wrapped his arms around your hips. “Ever since I got back I’ve been staying here.” He watched a smile graced your beautiful lips. “I’ve missed you Nyneve.” Kylo craned his neck to kiss you passionately.

Stars the feeling of your lips on his and how you pressed your body against him had him tingling. He maneuvered you to your bed never removing his lips from yours that now was making a sloppy trail down your chest. “W-Where is the droid?” You asked, slightly concerned that it would see you two like this. “In it’s charging station.” Kylo licked your earlobe. You squirmed at the ticklish feeling. “You did all this in a week?” You pulled back peering into his deep brown eyes. He just nodded. Your fingernails grazed his cheeks. “That’s so thoughtful Kylo.” You smiled. “A week is nothing compared to how long your body will be-” His words were muffled by your cleavage that he was now nose-deep in. You sucked in a breath, the feeling making heat pool in your lower abdomen. “Kylo I don’t think we have enough time for this.” You breathed out. “With your body, there is never enough time.” Kylo gently bite down on your skin making you whimper. You pushed him back revealing his hair all over the place and wild eyes roaming your body. “Lay down.” You told him and he obliged. You moved between his legs and pulled his pants down. A smirk formed on your face. “Promise me you won’t blow the lights out.” He rolled his eyes. “It was one time.” “Or pass out,” you told him. “That was the first ti-Y/N! It was a euphoric experience that caused my energy to get out of my control.” He propped himself on his elbows to look at you. “Or that time on the shuttle when you dropped us out of hyperspace or turned off the gravity.” You teased. Kylo rolled his eyes, letting his forearm rest on his eyes.

He groaned when he felt your delicate fingers wrap around him and stroke him up and down. He could feel you smear the precum around his tip with your thumb. He shifted his arm up to peer down at you and see you take all of him in your mouth. “Good girl,” He whispered. He felt her teeth a little as she smiled at the praise. Her arms wrapped around his thighs enclosing her in the mass of muscle as she sucked him from the tip to the base. Kylo’s hips involuntary jerked up and felt her fingers dig into his thighs because he hit her uvula. She continued to slurp him up as the sweat began to form on his furrowed brows. His large hand quickly gripped her hair making it loosen its elastic hold. He sat up, watching you hold the steady pace that his guiding hand provided. He closed his eyes as a he felt that feeling again. Kylo’s throat felt thick as he held everything in with this otherworldly experience. He always found peace in your pleasure, always found peace in you. He wondered for a second if he ever released his binds of torment and gave it to you, would you provide him with the peace that the force talks about?

His dick twitched and cum filled your mouth. As if on cue, your comm went off; removing yourself from him you walked into your bathroom. Kylo laid there a with a mess of pants. He heard you spit and the water running. You appeared in between the two rooms looking as if what just happened never did. "Did you organize the stuff in my bathroom, but mess everything else up?” You chuckled and Kylo’s face paled. It must’ve been Serena. “W-Where are you going?” Kylo changed the subject. “I have a meeting with Hux.” You told him. “I wasn’t alerted.” He propped himself up. “It’s for the General and a few others who lead the dreadnaughts. Information that you’d deem, unimportant.” You shrugged. Kylo shook off that last word and continued his conversation. “What about this?” He pointed to himself. “You wouldn’t just leave me here like this?” He questioned. “There’s plenty of times you’ve left me in your quarters hot and bothered.” You walked toward the blast doors to exit your quarters. “It’s a part of the job. With all due respect, you have obligations to fulfill as well; take care of yourself and get to it, Commander.” You winked at him before exiting. But he did not take your sentence in a loving gesture.

* * *

After the meeting, you found yourself with Lucky in the room that belonged to the fake officer. You were surprised to find that the room was stocked with the basic necessities for you two to survive: nutmeat and jelly sandwiches, galaxy buns, and beer. Helmet and gloves were thrown to the side, as well as your greatcoat and your the band that held your hair together was now on your wrist. “General Angel,” Lucky took a swig. “I like that.” You rolled your eyes with a smile. “I’m not a General, Lucky.” You corrected him. “Not yet at least.” He snickered. Silence set in as Lucky moved closer to you. “So, what happened with…Snoke?” He whispered. “He just looked into my mind and told me I deserved more.” You just shrugged. “You do! What did they do?” Lucky asked about his superiors. “Snoke was pleased that Hux wanted the same thing as he did. Our week on the Supremacy he commended him on his decision on picking me as a possible candidate as his successor if Hux should ever rise to Moff status. Also, that he was a great teacher.” You softly smiled. You couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed spending time with Hux, even if it was just professional. “And Kylo?” From this question, Lucky watched you deflate. “Did he say anything?” Lucky pushed. “No, he just, he just looked at me.” She released a deep breath. “Did he even say sorry or talk about what happened?” Lucky questioned. But once again you shook your head. “Angel, I’m sorry,” Lucky said. “I-I just don’t know what to do I love you too much to see you hurt like that.” He confessed. “I’m scared that one day he might actually hurt you, but not just emotionally.” You gently took his hand in yours. “I understand Lucky, but I know he won’t.” “How do you know he won’t, because he made a promise? People break promises; I did when I hurt you last year and it drives me fucking insane that I did that. But this guy!” Lucky’s voice started to raise as his face turned red. “He lashes out over the smallest things, he fucking kidnapped you, he toyed with you, he almost hit you! Now he gets you a droid to follow you around.” “LUCKY!” You yelled. “Please stop, it’s not like that. Things will work out, we just need to be open so we don’t bottle everything up and explode.” Lucky just looked at you with blue eyes unsure. “Ok, Angel.” He sighed.

* * *

You trudged back to your quarters, you yawned as you lazily typed in your passcode. Your foot barely hit the floor before a voice, and some choice beeps sounded in the air. “Where have you been?” Kylo stood in the middle of your living room with his hands on his hip. “Work, where else?” You motioned to the surroundings. You lived on a military-base planet for maker’s sake! “You didn’t take BB-9.” His brows furrowed. You looked down at the droid, who looked up at you. “I’ll take him tomorrow, I forgot.” You sighed as you moved pass Kylo and into your bedroom. His brown eyes softened as he watched you continue your trek. “Nyneve,” He called you ever so softly. A whimper slipped pass your lips. “Ky- I can’t, not tonight.”The droid powered itself down upon request of Kylo Ren, who was now making his way towards you. His hands fell on your shoulders as you rolled them off. “Kylo, we have a meeting in the morning.” You told him. “I know,” He said smugly. “So we can be together tonight.” A small smile graced your features as you couldn’t resist. “I don’t object but I’m very tired.” Your (y/e/c) eyes could be seen through the lashes of your hooded lids as sleep was trying to consume you.

Soon, you were both stripped down to nothing but your underwear. You discarded your bra and replaced it with a soft tee, you found your normal thermal pj’s and Kylo’s body heat did not mix well. Kylo watched as she burrowed herself in the covers letting out deep hums. He gently laid beside not to disturb, but observe her. “Yes?” She asked eyes still closed. “I’d never thought I’d be sleeping with the general.” You didn’t need to have your eyes open to tell that Kylo was smirking at his in-poor-taste joke.You couldn’t fight the smile it produced. “Where did you get that sense of humor from?” You cooed sleepily. “My father.” He said in all seriousness. One eyelid opens up to peak at your boyfriend. You two weren’t that couple that shared about your past, more specifically family. “He that shall not be named.” Your voice boomed and Kylo couldn’t help but laugh. “I have a lot of those in my family.” His laughter began to die down. “And now you’re one of them.” You retorted. The room grew silent before you spoke up: “Do you miss it?” There was a stall before Kylo responded. “Miss what?’’ “Do you miss being B-” His body tensed as your lips sounded out the first letter. “No…don’t ever say that name.” He whispered.

You hesitated to reach out and touch him but thought it was best not to. “Do you miss it?” His voice lingered in the darkness. Your body flopped to the side to look at him. “I didn’t have much of a life to go back to. I was always moving, we couldn’t stay in one place too long.” You told him. Brown eyes flicked over to you, who seemed to be in a daze. “But I miss her though…a lot.” He could feel you holding your emotions back. The feeling of fingers brushing against your cheek; (y/e/c) eyes fluttered over to him. “Nyneve?” He called out. “Yes?” He heard your sniffle in the dark. His large arms quickly made their way around you, pulling you closer. You tucked her head under his chin as you sucked in a breath. You never talked about your mother, you tried your best not to think about her. It hurt too much. Gently, he pressed a kiss to your temple, because he understood the feeling. “I know,” He whispered. “I know.” There was a strange mutual understanding that mothers were a sensitive topic. “Sometimes,” your voice cracked. “I look in the mirror and wonder if she would recognize me.” His large hand moved up and down your back. “If she would be proud of.” Your voice began dying out. Kylo felt your chest tighten against his. After hearing the story Hux told him, really made him want things to be different. Not feeling that you had to fight alone in this world.

* * *

The morning was almost like a dream. Kylo woke before her, trained, returned to her quarters, showered and crawled himself back into bed, welcoming your unconscious embrace. His nose nuzzled along your hairline. You woke up to the sight of your boyfriend, you could feel the dry tears stuck to your face. “Good Morning.” His deep voice sent shivers down your spine. Looking past him you saw the holo-clock. “We have to get up soon.” You told him, but he just shook his head. “It was canceled.” He kissed the side of your face. A smile surfaced on his pink lips. “You don’t believe me.” He held his hand out to retrieve the datapad. Unlocking it, your hazy eyes read over the message that was sent to you. Kylo gently took it from your grip and wrapped his arms around you. “Looks like you will be here longer than expected.” He whispered. You hummed positively. That day it was just about you and him; the couple spent breakfast in bed without cares in the world. This lead to them canceling all responsibilities for the rest of the day. It made your relationship with Kylo better, help the pair grow closer and you even shared things that the two of you thought were personal. This could be what your relationship needed to get on track.

* * *

You entered your office with a smile as your thoughts lingered to the shared moment between you and Kylo. “Nice of you to join us today.” Hux’s voice caused you to jump. “Hux, h-how-” He cut you off with the wave of a hand. “I hope you’re feeling better.” He said watching your brows furrow. “You weren’t able to come to the meeting, neither was Ren. I hope it wasn’t contagious.” He said sarcastically. The smile had long faded from your lips as you shook her head. “No, Kylo showed me the canceled meeting.” She said, almost as if talking to herself. Hux moved his way towards her to stand face to face. “Remember what I told you Y/N, you’ve been given a position that you have EARNED properly.” You held his cold, yet soft icy blue glare. “You know what you have to do.” Nodding, he left you standing alone in your office contemplating on what he meant. This test came when you were given the role of handing out permits for missions. It was a long tiring process of reading logs and accepting said missions. This also meant reading previous logs for a history of the success rate of the one requesting. You had no problem with it until you came to Kylo Ren. His missions, by far, were the most dangerous and he rarely went on it with First Order personnel, but when he did his success rate was the worst. Not only did he not care about putting others in danger, but he didn’t care about himself either. And that made you nervous. Of course, he was this big fighting force-using machine, but you still couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to protect him. So you did what anybody in your position would do: deny all his request due to his low rating.

Minutes later, there was a commotion outside of your office. Standing up, you approached the door to hear muffled, but loud voices. The blast doors slid open to reveal none other than Kylo arguing with Lucky. “There are no meetings scheduled for her today,” Lucky said through the helmet. “I don’t need a meeting to see the Lieutenant.” Kylo seethed. “I’m ordered to make sure that the Lieutenant is not disturbed.” Lucky retorted. These two men would not stand down so you knew you had to step in. “It’s alright,” You sighed. “Come in, Commander.” You could feel Lucky’s burning gaze through the visor. Kylo stood taller as he sauntered past Lucky into the office. The little droid rolled up beside Kylo beeping in happiness. “Not now.” He told the droid with a stern voice. “You denied my missions?” His face was in his famous scowl. “Yes, I did.” You said slowly. “Why?” He inquired. You took a deep breath to keep your composure. “Well, I believe that this mission is dangerous and isn’t the best use for First Order personnel.” You said. “If this wasn’t for the First Order, do you think I would be requesting it?” He snorted. Your fist tightened. “I never said that I just said that it wasn’t a good use of resources. Looking at your history, you have the highest mortality rate on missions, your plans are in the 97th percentile of danger. And this one that you’ve submitted is just reckless. It’s a death mission!” You told him honestly.

His voice started to rise “So you think I’m just a dangerous, reckless, selfish-” You shook your head cutting him off. “I-I never said that.” “You didn’t have to say it because you were thinking it!” You hated when he looked into your mind. “That’s all you do is care what others think of you!” She groaned. “NO! It’s just because I hear it from everyone and I don’t need it from you!” He pointed at you. “Well you are and those are justified reasons because you don’t care what happens to yourself out there BUT I DO!” Your yelling ceased as the door to your office slid open. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Hux stood tall. The couple stared at Hux as their chest began to fall into its regular pace. “This doesn’t concern you, Hux.” Kylo spat. “On the contrary, it does.” A smug smile sat on Hux’s face. “She is my protege Ren and I have tasked her with a job, in which she shouldn’t be disturbed. Yet…here you are.” Blue and brown eyes held a heavy stare before Hux turned to you. “What is the problem Lieutenant?” You gulped before answering. “The Commander would like his mission file to be approved, sir.” You took the datapad on your desk and handed it to him. The screen illuminated his tired eyes as he scanned the file. “I see no reason to do such thing.” Hux tsked handing you your datapad. Kylo looked at the two of them. “I knew this would happen.” He moved forward. “I don’t need either of you to go on this mission, Snoke will hear about this.” He told them both. Just then a knock on the door alerted them. Using the force, Kylo opened it to reveal an officer. “Excuse me, General, Lieutenant General, Commander,” The officer voice wavered as he caught the sight of Kylo’s dead eyes narrowing in on him for calling his title last. “Snoke request an audience.”  Hux began to fix himself and Kylo went to walk out before Hux. “W-with the Lieutenant General only.” The two men froze in their places and turned to see her staring with wide eyes. Slowly she walked between the two men and glanced at Kylo, who wore an apologetic look on his face.

* * *

BB-9 stood next to Kylo as he peered at the assembly of the AT-AT’s. He stood up straight feeling someone behind him, he turned to see you. Your (e/y/c) eyes locked with his as you made your way closer to him. As you approached, he could see how tired and glossy your eyes were. Kylo’s soft irises scanned your face in search of worry. You remember that look when it was behind gold-rimmed glasses that you fell for. “Do you know why I’m with the First Order?” Kylo shook his head in response. “I wasn’t forced like Lucky, power hungry like Hux, and as much as the resistance took from me, not revenge or destiny like you. My life was about survival and I was saved by Hux and the Order when I had nothing left. The life and opportunities I was given by them are just what I want for everyone. I want the fighting to stop and the lies, families divided on heavy beliefs. No child should have to go through that. Snoke said I live in a fairytale, a hopeless optimistic. If I was, I would work on a side who lie to their people about how they achieve success.” You looked down after you finished. Leather brushed against your hand and began to slowly engulf it. “I have a high success rate of losing people to this war and I don’t want to lose anymore.” You looked up at him and squeezed his hand. “I’ll approve the mission but you have to stay in contact with the base at all time.” He nodded with a small smile before laying a kiss on your cheek. Beeps turned your attention to the droid. “I-I don’t think he likes me.” You told Kylo. “Nonsense, you just haven’t spent enough time with him,” Kylo reassured. “Soon he’ll call you mother like he calls me father.”

* * *

You stood in the control center with both hands clutched behind your back. It was strange, you had watched Hux do this all your years with the Order and never did you ever think you would be in this position making sure a mission went successfully. Not to mention, making sure your boyfriend/Commander would be safe. Your (y/e/c) eyes scan the screen watching every move he had made. Your heart rate had slowly risen the closer they got to their destination. It was quiet almost as if something was bound to happen. “There are ships jumping out of hyperspace, Commander, over.” One of the pilots spoke. The monitor showed numerous ships jumping out and surrounding them. Your mind raced with what to do to make sure everyone returned as safe as possible. “Continue to the planet, over,” Kylo spoke. “No, tell him to pull back and to leave immediately.” You ordered the officer, who repeated to the Commander. But Kylo ignored you and had the pilots continued as more X-Wings appeared and quickly engaged on targets. “Lieutenant to Commander, fall back. There are too many, we are losing men.” The officer spoke as your eyes watched the number of ships on your side dwindle down to a handful. No matter how much you ordered him too, he would ignore it.

You reached in between the officers. “Commander, fall back now. You only have two men left. FALL BACK NOW!”  You yelled into the communicator. “Continue to the point, over,” Kylo said over the radio. Your eyes were focused on the two ships that were far enough to be able to make out. “If you fall back now, you and your remaining crew will survive,” Kylo said nothing as he continued to shoot down more X-Wings. You gritted your teeth as your chest heaved. It was your first mission you had approved, first, you had to oversee and it was going terribly wrong. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest as you made your final decision. “TIE 5 and 7, fall back and return to base immediately and safely as possible.” They copied and was jumping into hyperspace to return. “Commander, Commander, Commander,” One of the officers called. “Lieutenant, the Commander has disconnected his signal with us.” He said. You tightened your fist with anger rising in you. You could see his TIE still flying around, him against the whole Resistance. The leather from the gloves squeaked as you tighten your fist. Narrowed eyes locked on his ship as he flew maniacally. And in one split second, your heart stopped. His ship had been hit and you watched as his lifeless body float through space. All you could hear was the sound of your boots clicking as tears clouded your vision. You weren’t even aware that you were moving all you kept thinking about was how you just killed your boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: I didn’t want to put a death warning because it would mess up the big moment. Haha, Kylo dead!


	7. Part 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely forgot about posting the rest of Chapter 3, sorry!

News that Kylo Ren had been hit spread like wildfire. Hux thought it was too premature to celebrate and of course he was right, as he was just informed that the Knights of Ren had rescued their master. Lucky sped down the hall eyes moving frantically behind the helmet as he searched for you. He knew that you were there when Kylo’s ship had been blown up, but of course he was stationed with the General on the other side of the base. He needed to find you to tell you that the Knights had rescued him and they were returning to the base right this moment. He grunted from the obstructed view that the helmet provided. He ripped the helmet off and continued his search down the hallway. Turning down various corridors, he picked up a scent that had become apart of his life. He did his best to follow your scent; he ignored the crazy looks from the officers and they ceased as the crowds became sparse the more he walked. The scent got stronger and he picked up his pace, breaking into a jog. “ANGEL!” He yelled as he turned down the hallway but to his surprise he saw Serena. She turned with large orange eyes staring at the stormtrooper who was confused as to why you had Angel’s scent. For sure Serena knew she was caught, but when he quickly walked away, she knew she was in the clear. For now.

There were only two places left for you to go and since he was on the lower level, he might as well check your hideout first. He saw Kylo’s stalker droid outside of the room and knew you were inside. Punching in the code, he quickly entered and pushed the droid with his boot so he wouldn’t get it. “Angel,” He sighed, turning to take in your tear-stricken face. Her hair had been pulled from the regulated ponytail; boots, gloves, and greatcoat discarded on the floor, as her bloodshot eyes stared widely at her best friend. “Angel?” His brows furrowed as he watched her knees press further into her chest as she gripped her datapad tightly. “I killed him.” She whispered. “No,” he said softly. She just shook her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. “Angel he was rescued by his knights. He’s going to be fine.” Lucky reassured you, but you didn’t listen as your eyes fell to your datapad. “Okay Angel stop looking at-“ He snatched the datapad from your hand and looked at it. “[Somber Skies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13209117/chapters/30215337)? Really Angel? And chapter 12?!” Lucky sighed. “I killed him! What if he ret-" You broke down, putting your head between your knees. Lucky’s comm went off. “The ship just landed, he’s going to be transported to the north medbay, come on we can make it.” He squeezed her calf.

It took sometime before Lucky, Angel, and BB-9 made it to the north medbay. Lucky took you the long way, avoiding heavy populated areas. Your sobs were quieter, but every once and awhile you would break down a little. Lucky, couldn’t let others see you like this; not just because you were a Lieutenant General, but because you were his friend. Noise could be heard as soon as the elevator doors opened. The pair and the droid walked their way to the main medical center where doctors and nurses were rushing back and forth. “HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA! HALT! THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA!” A large droid crossed in front of them. The little BB rolled up in front of it to tell it off. “Dr. Zar!” Lucky called out. The older man turned to see Lucky quickly approaching. “Dr. Zar, is he here?” Lucky asked as you stood in a daze with the two droids still arguing. “Yes, but,” He gulped. “He is in critical condition.” Lucky looked back at you with sad eyes. “But h-he’ll make it through right?” Lucky pushed. “We will do our best, but he was floating in space for quite some time. We are pretty sure the only way he survived was through the force. He’s drained.” The doctor shook his head and then looked sadly at you. Dr. Zar sighed before speaking. “I’ll tell Ava to contact you if something changes, but for now I must go.” The call of his name had him rushing into the room. Lucky rushed back and bent to the droids level. “You stay here and keep an eye out for Kylo Ren. If anything changes, find us.” Lucky synced his comm with the droid so he could know where he was at all time. Lucky scooped you up and carried you back to the hideout.

* * *

The soothing sound of a heartbeat caused your eyes to flutter open. The room was dark and took you a few moments for your eyes to adjust. Looking around, you noticed that you weren’t in your actual quarters. You noticed how your fingers were tightly gripping the black fabric that moved with every breath. Looking up, you could make out the freckles that were dusted across Lucky’s cheek. His left hand gently held your body close to him and the fingers of his right hand lazily in your hair for combing, as his slightly parted lips laid gently on your forehead. Cautiously, you remove yourself from his hold; with a deep breath, you prop your head on the wall to look at him. A finger connected the dots on his cheek, careful not to stir him. You thought back to your meeting with Snoke and his underlying mocking tone. ‘Fairytale’ you scoffed in your mind. There was nothing fairytale about your life. If it was, you and Lucky would be somewhere nice; he would have a family and you would have your mom, Hux would still be running something of course, and Phasma would be there, too! A smile graced your lips as you continued running your fingers across his cheek. It didn’t even cross your mind once that Kylo was nowhere included in this. A grumble from your stomach had you leaving your comfortable spot and venturing into the hall.

It must’ve been extremely late because there was no one in the hallway. You walked towards the nearest mess hall. You felt like a zombie and didn’t care how you looked. Sluggishly, you rolled your eyes as you yawned. With your ears popping, you missed the sounds of the beeping growing louder behind you. “Oomph!” You fell forward stumbling. Looking to see what hit you, you saw your droid speeding by you. You broke out into a light jog calling for the droid to stop, but it ignored as it continued to beep. “I have to tell mother!” It repeated. “I’m right here!” You yelled out but it kept moving. It made a sharp turn to the left and excitedly started beeping. You were just about to turn the corner when you heard a female voice. “Woah, hey Bubby! Wha-” Serena started, but the beeping continued. “Kylo was in critical-” The beeps cut her off once more. “He’s okay, well that’s good, Bubby!” Serena rubbed the droid. You twitched as the droid called her mother. It had to be coincidence, right? You stayed back and watched as the droid dragged the technician away from her section. You waited a few seconds before following them; low and behold you ended up at the medbay and heart rate began to increase. Kylo was here and he was alive. All you could think about was getting to him as you made your way to his private room. You had finally made it after peeking into every window of each room. As you made it to him, you saw BB-9 and Serena by Kylo’s bedside. The tears slowly slid down your face as you watched Serena reach out and grab his hand. This was strike two.

* * *

It had been a week and you hadn’t set foot in that room. And yet, you followed Serena every night and watched her with Kylo’s unconscious self. The BB droid refused to leave his side and you weren’t complaining. The feelings were mutual, you didn’t like it either. You would stare through the window as the tears rolled down when you watched them. But after a while, they ceased. You’d become numb to the sight in front of you, numb to the whole situation. You weren’t even upset at the fact you almost killed him, he didn’t listen in the first place. Then you stopped showing. You didn’t even ask to be notified when he was awake, you were so over it. While he was unconscious, you fell into a pattern of being by yourself and you genuinely missed it. Not to mention, all the time Lucky was spending with you. It felt like old times as you laughed at the old holo-movie you two were now watching squished up on the single bed in your hideout. Lucky’s eyes were locked at the projection in front of him when he heard you speak. “I miss this.” It was so soft, he could’ve missed it. “I miss this too, Angel.” He smiled brightly, only for it to fade at the sight of you. “No, I mean before everything; when everything was simple and routined. Before the promotion and Snoke and Kylo, before Matt.” You finally turned to look at him. Lucky sighed because he understands.

“You know I have a bounty on my head? I didn’t know that becoming a Lieutenant would mean an automatic assassin on your tail.” She told him. He just nodded, because he knew. “I miss exploring planets and keeping everyone happy, I miss going to the mess hall, I miss having friends. I miss Seventies and Bear and Zero and Smith,” Tears began to gloss over (y/e/c) eyes as you thought of your deceased friends. “I miss you! I miss being with you, hanging with you, just doing anything and everything and not have to worry about Kylo or Ava, don’t you miss that?!” You snapped as the tears fell. Lucky’s eyes cast down letting his lashes brush against his cheek as he found the strength to speak. “Ava is cheating on me.” You gasped, you couldn’t believe what he had said. Ava had been obsessed with the dashing trooper YEARS before Angel came onto the scene and she finally got him, and this is how she treated him? “Lucky, I-I’m sorry, ar-are you sure?” You placed a hand gently on his back. “She thinks I’m cheating on you, so she told me ‘she could do the same’.” He looked up at you. “L-Lucky, I-I’m sorry. Y-you should go.” As much as you hated her, you loved him more. And if he really did like Ava, you would help his relationship survive because that’s what friends are for. Also, you did now how it feels; it wasn’t certain that Kylo and Serena were having an affair, but there were signs. But you decided not to bring that up, this was Lucky’s time to vent. He always listened to you and now it was your time to listen. “No,” His hand gripped you as he held a steady gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. You need me and this is my job; not just as your head guard but as your best friend. She knows this and if she wants to be petty, then let her. I love you, Angel. I’m never going to leave you.” A sob wracked through your body as you engulfed him in a hug. “I-I’m sorry Lucky, I’m sorry. You deserve more than this. I wish I c-could take you away and give you a real life and a family an-and” You cried as he began to wipe your tears. “Hey, hey, I love my life and I have a family I wouldn’t trade for the universe.” He pressed a kiss near the corner of your lips and you could feel a tingling sensation throughout your whole body. More tears rolled down your cheeks as you silently cried.

* * *

It took all his strength just to open his eyes, to a blurred version of you. The light surrounded your head like a halo as his vision started to clear. His lips parted in awe at the sight in front of him. “Angel,” His voice was huskier after being in an induced coma. “Kylo,” Your hand laid gently on his and the beeps from the machine started to increase. You went to remove your hand but he held a light grip. “Stay,” You just shook your head. Your heart felt as if it was going to explode. Seeing him like this was weird, he was so helpless; and no matter how you were feeling about everything going on, you knew your heart was hurting for almost killing him. “I’m sorry Kylo.” You said lowly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as you played with your fingers. Kylo said nothing as he just watched you. There was something off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. As Kylo’s health began to restore itself, you became a frequent visitor. You would spend most of your meals with him, talk to him, and just keep him company since he wasn’t ready to be released. Everyone was so shocked that the Commander was so compliant with these rules. But you also noticed there was something different about him. Sometimes, when you would come visit he would look like he was caught. Dr. Zar had told you that late night, Kylo would begin having conversations, but fully aware of the situations. This made you nervous because Kylo already had a hard time sleeping. It was during one of your lunch visits to Kylo when one of his Knights entered the room. “Snoke is aboard the ship and he requests his apprentice.” You turned to see Kylo who for the first time looked scared to see Snoke.

In silence, you held Kylo’s hand as the Knight showed you to the impromptu room. You’ve never been to this part of the base, but you tried to keep your eyes from wandering because Kylo appeared so bothered. And not his irritably bothered position but nervous. Large blast doors opened to reveal the Supreme Leader and his guards; before you can even bow, he shouted: “Leave us!” The Knight nodded and turned. You were about to do the same until you were being held in your place. Your eyes trailed from the large pale hand that was wrapped around yours up to the face it belonged to. Soft brown eyes broken by his scar pleaded with you. “Let her go, she’s needed on a mission.” Snoke scolded his apprentice. Kylo flinched his hand back, you gave him a sad look before following his Knight. Walking to the hangar, you couldn’t get the strange feeling out of your chest, something was wrong with Kylo. You walked up the ramp of the command shuttle, you were to support the Knights of Ren on a mission since Kylo was recovering. Thankfully, they listened to you and not just because you were their Master’s girlfriend, but the respect they had for you.

* * *

Your chin rested on your fist as you stared aimlessly in front of you. “He’s going to be okay, he’s just a little shaken up.” Vibar, one of his Knights, sat in front of you. You just nodded and relaxed a little. “It’s not your fault, you were thinking about the Order, doing your job.” He told you. Right, they were all force sensitive here. “Snoke just wants to see him because he believes that Kylo is closer to the force because of his revival.” He reassured him. (Y/e/c) eyes widened under the dim light of the cabin. “How? How’d you revive him?” You asked. “We didn’t,” Vibar said and your heart stopped. “We all felt his signature disappear, we just went to retrieve the body out of respect. But when we did we felt something, a new one, but bright.” You leaned forward. “Like someone else’s? Somebody else saved him? Did you see anyone?” Vibar shook his head. “Yes, but through the force. I’ve never seen or heard or read about this, but I believe that is what happened. It is possible from a force bond.” You didn’t know much about the force, though it did intrigue you, you just never ventured to learn about it. You wanted to ask Kylo, but he just seemed too dismissive of the subject. “What’s a force bond?” You asked. “It’s a powerful connection that existed between two force users; they can communicate and share visions. It’s rare but it happens.” Vibar told you. “It could’ve been Luke Skywalker or-or his mother?” You asked. “Possibly, yes. I believe that’s why Snoke requested him; his force is stronger than ever but he can’t sway to the light.”

* * *

After dealing with Snoke, Kylo was released and found himself wandering to your quarters. He was surprised at how well the meeting went. Snoke was genuinely concerned about his apprentice. He stepped past the blast doors and the scent of you hit him. An ache in his chest formed remembering how sad you looked to leave him. BB-9 rolled around him welcoming him back. A small smile was placed on his full lips. He was tired. Kylo took a shower and slid under your soft covers. Dark hair spilled over the pillow as he felt the cold air flow against the droplets of his bare chest. With parted lips, he stared up at the ceiling holding his breath. “Stop that!” The accented voice clipped. His stare remained on the ceiling. “It took you long enough.” He said. “What do you want Ben?” Rey moved to his peripheral. “Something’s off.” He shook his head. “It’s the bond.” “No, it’s…her signature, it’s not right,” Kylo said. “The girl that visited you?” Rey inquired. He nodded, now turning his head to look at her. “Ever since I’ve awakened, Y/N’s signature has been different, from when she visited me before.” Rey extended her hand. “Show me,” Was all she said before his fingertips touched hers. Memories of the past cycles with you flowed between. Rey shut her eyes, furrowing her brows when everything stopped. “It wasn’t her.” She said. Kylo looked at her with confusion. “The woman that was with you at Snoke, wasn’t the same one who visited you every night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: When I wrote this I was heavily invested in Somber Skies, to the point where I would cry at random moments. The rain isn't even the same for me anymore. Just saying, thanks for fucking me up @Cheeky_Monkey and @Jay2Noir


	8. Part 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end…-warning slightly nsfw, cheating

Kylo missed you. He missed you dearly. It took everything in him to not wait for you to arrive on the base. Instead, he waited for you in your bedroom; granted it wasn’t you visiting him in the medbay, which left a sour taste in his mouth, he yearned for your love. There was not a time where you weren’t giving him love. Whether it be nurturing or tough, it showed him how much you truly cared about you and he NEEDED to tell you soon. Hopefully, tonight would be the night. The blast doors slid open and Kylo turned with a gasp to see Y/N in a fitted all black armored-bodysuit. Soft (y/e/c) eyes connected to yours and the corner of your lips lifted. Standing to his full height, Kylo made his way over to stand in front of you taking in all of your features. Your mission seemed so long and maybe this was because he had only awakened a few days before you were being shipped off, but he missed you. In silence, the couple looked into each other eyes; “I missed you.” Kylo’s husky voice made your knees weak and thankfully his strong arms were there to hold you up as he wrapped them around you. “So much.” He squeezed you tighter.

“I missed you too.” You mumbled into his chest. When he pulled back he looked at you like a pet finally seeing their owner after a long day. His brown eyes shined bright as the danced across your face. He lowered his hands to take yours, gently pulling at them. “Will you lay with me?” A blush covered his cheeks and his voice was innocent, a tone you had never heard before. In the back of your mind, you thought about what Vibar had told you: the force bond. But you tried not to dwell on it as you let him lead you. “Of course,” you smiled following him to your bedroom. Kylo sat on the bed. “C-Can I undress you?” He stuttered and you couldn’t comprehend why he was so nervous, he had done it many times before without asking. Maybe he wanted to-you gasped letting your nerves get the best of you as you nodded. His fingers gently peeled you out of your bodysuit. Was tonight the night? Would you guys finally give each other your mind, soul, and body? Heat danced all over your skin as your thoughts ran rapid, trying your best to stop staring at his expansive chest. You were left with nothing in but your undergarments as his dark eyes drank you in.

He started to move back, your hand in his as you crawled up to lay in his arms. Both of their limbs wrapped around each other like a knot. A few minutes had passed before a low hum vibrated in his chest. “I love you,” The words fell from your mouth, but still Kylo couldn’t find the words to say it so he said what he thought was best. “I dreamed of this moment.” You looked up to him. Him not reciprocating those word stung, but hopefully in due time. “Really?” You asked. “Yes,” He turned to look at you. “Every day since you left I thought about holding you like this. After long training with Snoke, I came here and held your pillow, but it didn’t come close to.” His nose found a place in the crook of your neck.Your hands ran up and down as his back. “Neither do you.” His teeth grazed your skin as he smiled. “When I become Supreme Leader, I’m going to stay here all day.” You pulled back to look at him. “Supreme Leader?” You asked him. “Has Snoke told you that he wants you to be his successor?” Another shade of red covered his face not answering the question. “And I’ll make changes to catapult us over the Resistance to crush them, take over the galaxy and become Emperor. Restoring order in the galaxy for good.” He smiled into the distance. “And you,” His index finger hooked under your chin. “Will be Empress and want for nothing, free to do whatever, whenever.”

* * *

An empress, you thought to yourself as your fingers drummed against your desk in your office. You couldn’t even fathom being a General let alone an Empress. Of course, you weren’t shy about responsibility but it just seemed that someone else could be a better fit. And Kylo as Emperor, you could actually see it, but you feared his changes. Mainly because he would most likely want to get rid of people, but you would be safe. But, Lucky and Hux wouldn’t. Your shoulders slumped. But, if Hux became Emperor, you and Lucky would be safe, but Kylo wouldn’t. Either way, no matter who became Emperor, you would be safe, but someone you loved wouldn’t. There was a knock on the door; pressing the button underneath your desk it revealed Lucky. “I’m here to take you to see Supreme Leader.” Even through the mask, you could hear his concern. Approaching him, you kissed the side of his helmet. “I’ll be fine, Lucky.” He let out a staticky sigh before leading you down the corridor.

* * *

“Alright, repeat it again.” Lucky smiled and you rolled your eyes. “Lucky!” You groaned. “No, Angel I’m just in a shock and proud, and I need you to say it so you can feel the same way.” Lucky pestered you. “General Hux and Supreme Leader have been thinking about letting me run a resurgent-class star destroyer.” You repeated. “Angel, you’re going to be running a ship!” Lucky shook your shoulders. “It’s just a resurgent-class.” You mumbled. “Angel, it doesn’t matter! A Lieutenant General, the youngest, might I add, will lead a ship! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” He hugged you tightly making you fall back onto the bed. You let out a screech, trying to push his heavy body up. “I don’t even know if I’m going to accept it.” This answer caught Lucky sideways. You were, if not the most qualified, the most deserving person to lead, along with Hux; so why wouldn’t you take it? “Why not?” He spat. You shrugged. “I don’t know, everything’s happening so fast a-and I h-have to talk to Kylo about it.” It was then Lucky understood, why you didn’t want to accept it. “Angel, I really hope you are not thinking about declining because of him.” You said nothing as his blue eyes grew cold. “Angel, I can’t believe it! You’re really going to let him dictate your life because you’re going out with him?! What the fuck, you fucking deserve this! Unlike him, you worked hard; you worked hard at the academy, graduated early, was the youngest and best damn Consultant the Order has ever seen, became an Ambassador and literally had planets falling to your feet without fear, and now you’re a fucking General! If he loved you, he would want greatness for you.” His voice was loud. He was angry, but not directly at you. Lucky was frustrated that you were ready to give up everything you’ve earned for some man-child!

The word caused your heart to stop because you truly didn’t know if he loved you. Slowly tears began to trail down your face. His brows furrowed as he quickly apologized for his tone. “No, no, it’s not you, it’s just-” You sniffled. “I don’t think he loves me as much as I love him and I feel so stupid.” Lucky pulled you into his chest, shushing your cries. “Stop, you’re not stupid, shhh.” You shook your head and pulled back. “I know actions speak louder than words, but I don’t know.” You breathed heavily. “He tells me he wants me to be his Empress and is loving, but then sometimes he can just be so horrible.” You shook your head in your hands. Lucky scoffed. “He is and he’s horrible for wanting you to just be his wife.” You looked at him with watery eyes. “R-Remember when you had to pick me up on my home planet?” You asked and Lucky nodded. “When we were heading back to the base from a mission, I-I told him I loved him a-and he looked at me l-like a stranger.” You sniffled. “And when I woke up I wasn’t on the ship or the base, I was in my old house, abandoned.” Lucky couldn’t believe what he was hearing! He remembers when the Order received a stress signal from an abandoned Empire home planet. It was strange since no one had lived there for years. Everyone thought it was a trap, but the codes used showed that is someone within the Order and had to be someone higher up.

But, he knew it was you when you signed with symbols that looked like wings. Lucky wasted no time grabbing a random pilot and going to find you. This was the day he was supposed to be on a mission to Rokin, where all those troopers, all his friends died, because of Kylo Ren. His jaw clenched, he really wanted to tell you the truth about your boyfriend but decided to let you talk. “He left me there and apologizing saying he was protecting me from the Resistance ships and I believed him, but it was a lie! I checked the records and there was nothing!” You cried. That was the last straw for Lucky, he stood up only to be locked in your shaky grip. “Lucky,” You said softly, looking up at him with reddening eyes. “Please don’t do anything.” You pleaded. “Angel, you can’t be serious? You need to leave him. I don’t want you to go through this.” His palm caressed your cheek. “I know.” You sniffled. “You have to leave him, it’s hurting you, Angel. A-And it hurts me that I can’t help you.” He told you honestly. You looked down not wanting to look him in the eye because he was right: Kylo was no good for you.

* * *

Serena entered her quarters after a long shift. She yawned, ready to collapse on her small bed when her datapad summoned her to one last job. With ebony eyes, she sighed turning around to head back to the main sector. She had finally made it to a room, an unused office, with no officer, registered to it. Maybe not yet, maybe that’s why she was here. But, as the lights came on that thought was out of the window. Kylo stared at her through red, tired eyes. His hair hung on the sides of her face as he stared at her. “It was you.” He spoke to himself. Serena stood confused, eyes get darker by the second. “Don’t be afraid.” His voice was soft as he reassured her, holding out his hand for her to come. Tentatively, she took steps to stand before him. He was sitting on the table but still towered over her. “Why did you visit me every night?” His brows were furrowed. Her eyes turned olive as a blushed covered her face. A tendered hand gently pressed against her cheek, then his fingers pressed against her forehead. She whimpered as he went through her thoughts, where he found how conflicted she was with idolizing Angel, but caring for him more than just a superior. He pulled back to see tears streaming down her face. The pad of his thumb spread the tear across her cheek; his dark eyes were so fixated on his actions, he had missed Serena leaning forward and capturing his lips.

Kylo stood still as Serena pressed closer to his body, palms flat against his chest. He wasn’t expecting this, all he wanted to do was find out if it was Serena who had really been visiting him. He went to open his mouth, this happened to be the wrong move because this caused Serena to deepen the kiss. “I’m sorry,” She sighed. “It’s not fair how she has you but doesn’t care for you, how you should.” Kylo’s brows furrowed at her statement. “I would’ve never left your side, before and after.” Her wet lips trembled against his. “She never came to see you or check in or even now. She puts herself before you.” The words Serena spoke twisted in Kylo’s mind making old fears and questions that had been squashed awaken. In his mind, all your successes were his failures. “You deserve more.” Her smaller hand caressed his scar pulled him out of his trance to be met with burgundy eyes. “I can’t give you the world, but I can make you feel like a king,” Serena whispered. With hungry eyes, a large hand pulled her lips to his as he devoured her in one kiss. Soon, layers and layers of clothing was discarded; Serena looked up through hooded eyes with her back pressed against the desk. “Kylo,” She sighed. His jaw clenched. The thought of you surfaced in his brain, but it was covered in hate. He had pictured his first time with you, but things had changed. But still, he thought, he could have both. “Ben, call me Ben.” Her small hand ran through his hair. “Ben,”

A sheen of sweat covered them cementing their bodies together as Serena’s nails worked on his back and Kylo held a tight grip on her butt. His feral movements had them both grunting; for so long Kylo had refrained from anything sexual so with this taste of sin on his lips he couldn’t control it. His breathing became erratic and so did his mind. Unlike you, he couldn’t find peace. Instead, he found chaos. His skin was scorched red as if a fire had consumed him. Flashbacks of all the terrors he had committed flashed before him as he fucked Serena in the abandoned office. Golden eyes glowed in the dark room, where the lights had been blown out. Every time Ben slipped from Serena’s name, a gust of smoke fell from her lips. The heat from their bodies and coldness of the room caused the walls and windows to fog. Outside, the snow and winds whipped around covering the new base in a blizzard frenzy. “Ben!” The voice that called out for it wasn’t the one saying it now. Turning his head, he saw Rey standing with confusion and hurt in her eyes. “Stop, don’t do this.” She whispered. Their eyes were locked onto each other as Kylo continued his actions. He was too far gone to understand why she wanted him to stop; was it because he was cheating or because she could feel the darkness consume him or was it because the attachment that was growing was slowly being severed. Kylo wasn’t dumb, he saw the way Rey looked at him, but it was one-sided. Through the force, he could feel Rey’s anger and sadness rise and Serena’s growing need, all this passion fueled him.

* * *

Kylo left Serena naked, asleep, and alone in the office. Strands of hair laid against his wet forehead. His clothing stuck to him, as well as the smell of sex that reminded him of what he had just done. With dark eyes and an air of confidence, he strode through the halls of the Apocalypse. He felt untouchable. The Force flowed through him, the darkness beating with every heartbeat. His power, his potential, this was only the beginning. The blast doors opened and he stepped through making his way to the bedroom where he stopped; there you were lying peacefully on your side. His breath hitched; turning he took in his surroundings. Out of habit, he had come to your room. Even though you couldn’t see, he felt so small thinking about what he had done. Kylo could’ve left but he chose not to. Guilt built up in him; what had happened wasn’t him, that’s what he believed. He needed to right the wrongs, so he discarded his clothes and slipped under the covers behind you with the smell of sex still lingering on him. He took in your soft, innocent features and was reminded of why you were donned, Angel. His mouth began to dry as he began to panic; tears welled in his eyes at the thought of you leaving him, finding out, hating him. What had you honestly done to make him do this to you? “I love you,” He whispered. “I love you,” His body shook as he held back the sob that wanted to rack through his body. You stirred, hearing slurred words. Turning your head you saw Kylo crying. “Kylo? W-What’s the matter?” You turned. He froze with wide eyes. “I-I love you, I love you, Y/N.” His body crushed you into a hug. Your lips formed into a smile; he had finally said those words. “I love you too, Kylo.” You cooed. He squeezes you tight to hold in the tears. If only you knew these words were caused by infidelity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: You might hate me, but everything happens for a reason.


	9. Part 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that, the asshole's back.

It was that awkward time in the cycle where there was nobody and the base was silent. Lucky had just got into an argument with Ava and she kicked him out of her quarters and he didn’t want to go to the barracks, so he went to their secret hideout. He hadn’t seen Angel in weeks after Snoke had whisked Kylo away for more training, Angel had been going on missions with the Knights of Ren. Lucky was concerned even though you were in the hands of six force users, but they were loyal to Kylo, not you. He was thankful that today was his day off. His feet dragged against the floor as he made his way to the room. The doors slid open and the room illuminated a figure in all black with a mask. The person was shorter than him but held a confident stance and with not being in his armor as well as being in an unauthorized room. “FN-0777,” The vocoder rang out. Lucky gulped as he folded into himself. “Y-Yes.” A distorted giggle rang from the helmet. He perked up, even with the voice changer, he knew his Angel. “Angel!” He moved closer to you and his blue eyes observed the black mask in wonder. “Angel, this is so cool!” “Isn’t it?!” You shrieked. “The Knights gifted me with it!” You watched Lucky’s brow furrow behind the dark visor. “The Knights?” He repeated.

The black mask nodded. “Oh Angel, I don’t know-” “I know how you feel, but you shouldn’t worry. They got it for me for better communication when we are on the field.” You told him. His eyes widened. “The field?! Angel!” His hands spun you around observing for any wounds, you couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not hurt I promise,” Angel said. Relief washed over his face as his blue eyes somehow found yours with an intense gaze, a mix between longing and comfort. It made goosebumps cover your skin, he couldn’t even see your face and he was looking at you as if you were a sun rising over the planet or the most precious jewel in the universe. You hadn’t had anyone look at you like that ever and it stirred something in you. The helmet tilted and inched closer to Lucky until it was pressed gently against his lips. Your eyes fluttered open to see blue eyes staring wide back at you. You were so glad that you were wearing the helmet because embarrassment was written all over your face. “I-I have to go.” You began to walk past him. “Angel,” Lucky tried to catch you, but you were too fast.

* * *

You entered your quarters to hear Kylo’s deep voice talking to someone. Slowly you began to move closer to the bedroom he stopped, almost as if he wasn’t alone. Kylo stood up and walked to the door where he saw you in your armor and mask. “You have a mask now?”His brow furrowed as you began to remove your helmet to reveal your new do. “Yes, your Knights made it for me.” You responded. “Y-You cut your hair?” Y/H/C hair fell along your jawline giving you a more powerful look taking away from the innocence you were known for. “Mhm, Lora said it’s easier with the helmet.” You told him as his fingers threaded through your hair. “Who were you talking to?” Kylo’s fingers twitched on your cheek before he shook your head. (Y/E/C) eyes look past him into your bedroom, before storming into it. You looked around to see everything in its place and no one. Turning to look back at Kylo, whose eyes were raking over your body with dark eyes. A smirk twisted on your lips. “Come here,” You beckoned and he did. Kylo sauntered closer to you, hands roaming all over the black armor that hugged your curves. Your hands cradled his head as you pressed your lips against his. His eyes fluttered open to see that animalistic look in your eye, it reminded him of their first kiss. “I want to make love to you.” You said ever so softly. “And then I want you to fuck me.”

Kylo quickly began to ravish you with kisses as his hands worked your way out of your skin tight suit. The difference between the thick fabric wrapping around you to the feeling of Kylo’s rough hands drove you wild. A moan escaped your lips as he laid you on the bed. Dark eyes roamed all over your body as he peeled you out of the suit. He sucked in a breath as he saw you lying there in that little white First Order regulated underwear. He remembered how pure you were. Did Serena have white underwear? Kylo thought back to that night. So many thoughts ran through his head, he fell into a trance and couldn’t hear Y/N calling out for him. “Kylo! Kylo!” You shook him until his eyes finally locked with yours. He pushed you back on the bed away from him as he fled the room. You tried to go after him, but he was gone. Where he went you didn’t know. But, he went to the place he had been for weeks since. He was leaving his peace for destruction, the reason for his downward spiral.

* * *

Snoke waved his hand to open the door. You walked in and bowed beside a standing Kylo. “Rise, my child,” Snoke said. “How are the missions with the Knights of Ren?” He asked. “They have all been successful, Supreme Leader.” She nodded. “Lieutenant, have you made your decision about leading the destroyer Azazel?” You went to open your mouth but nothing came out. Your eyes shifted to Kylo, who gave you look. He didn’t know any of this? Why didn’t you tell him this? He hummed pleasingly and looked at Kylo. “Ren, you are dismissed.” With a clenched fist and hidden anger, Kylo turned to leave. You wanted to go after him, but you knew you couldn’t, so your eyes were focused straight ahead. “Do you know why I called you in here?” Snoke asked. “No, Supreme Leader.” His long fingers tapped the arm of the throne. “It seems Kylo has been quite distracted as of lately.” He told you. “Don’t worry, it isn’t you.” The reassurance was nice but all you could think about was that stupid force bond. “Supreme Leader…if I may ask?” He nodded. “Is it the force bond with the girl?” You held your breath as he looked you over. “That’s one reason. But, distractions aren’t good for the First Order; Ren isn’t well, he needs time to find the passion that drove him here.” Snoke said. “I’m stripping his title of Commander and giving his duties to you, and until further notice, I am placing the leadership of the Knights of Ren in your hands. I don’t want them to feel Kylo’s lightness and react in the way they’re taught too.” Shocked was the only way to put it. Not only was he offering you to lead a ship but now Snoke was trusting you with all these responsibilities. “Thank you, Supreme Leader.” You bowed. “As long as you keep succeeding that is all the thanks I need. And you will let General Hux know that you will be boarding the Azazel.” You bowed and went to be on your way.

“Lieutenant,” Snoke called out causing you to turn around. “Yes, Supreme Leader?” His bony fingers beckoned you as he stepped down from his throne. “Step in front of my chair and look out, what do you see?” You did as followed and took in the vast room with pillars, high ceilings and tapestries surrounding the room. “Now move to the left.” He said and you did as followed. Your lips twisted, from this view the room seemed smaller and not to mention a pillar right in front of you. “If you had a choice, where would you stand?” “In the center.” You said without hesitation. “And if someone else had to choose, would you let them put you on the side?” He asked. “No,” She shook her head. Snoke moved closer to you, towering over. “Remember this when you become blinded by making others happy. Would you rather watch happiness on the sidelines or would you want to be at the front?” His fingers gripped your shoulders. “Someone as hard-working, respected, and an intelligent leader as yourself deserves much more than you think.” He released you and used the force to push you forward. With a bit of a stumble, you turned to bow before leaving the room, constantly repeating his words.

* * *

Hux was more than pleased about your decision to take control of the Azazel. So pleased he wanted to ship you off now. “Hux, I think I should tell Kylo before I just disappear.” You told him. Hux rolled his ice blue eyes. “Well as soon as you tell him, let me know.” You giggled at him. “Darling, this isn’t just because I hate him. It is because we need to let them now so they can get to base for transport.” Hux told you. “But, it doesn’t make sense to leave when the reception is in a few weeks.” You told Hux. A reception was being held for the First Order and all of their alliances to meet on the base and see what their money has been going to and who were fighting the fight to give them a better life. “Y/N, we can keep the Azazel in orbit for you to transport for the reception,” Hux told you. “But Hux, this just seems like so much for the both of us.” A whine could be heard threatening your voice. “Fine, but I’m contacting the Azazel right now, so whenever you are ready.” Tutted Hux. With a smile, you thanked Hux and went off to your quarters. You were more than a little nervous to see Kylo, not knowing how he would respond to the news. Horribly, you guessed, and you were right because when you walked in your quarters to see everything destroyed.

(Y/E/C) widened in fear as you took in Kylo’s large form thrashing about. “W-What are you doing? STOP!” You called out. He froze slowly turning to you with angry eyes. “You.” He clenched his jaw. “You were going to leave me without saying a word.” He spat. “N-No, I wante-” You began to explain but he cut you off. “You said you loved me! But, you are leaving just like everyone else!” Kylo began to spew more hate on you while you stood stuck at the crossfire as he began to break, if not, everything in your room. “Kylo, stop you’re scaring me!” Your lip quivered as he was now facing you, projecting all his anger. “I’ve always scared you, that’s why you’re running isn’t it? Like everyone, they say they love me and when they get what they needed,THEY. LEAVEEEEE!!” He screamed at you. “THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S NOT TRUE, I LOVE YOU!” Tears began to stream down your face as you counterattacked every lie he threw at you. It was in that moment that you realized this wasn’t healthy. This is what Hux and Lucky had warned you about. And you couldn’t do it anymore. The anger bubbled up inside and erupted as you screamed: “GET OUT!” Kylo stood frozen with shock as he felt the world still around him. “GET OUT! STAY AWAY FROM ME LEAVE ME ALONE! IT’S OVER; YOU’RE SICK AND TWISTED, LEAVE ME ALONE!” You screamed until your lungs burned. Kylo’s lips began to snarl about to say something, as your (y/e/c) set ablaze. “Don’t. You. Dare.” Was all you said as the stare down continued. Their were fires in both in their eyes and nothing would be able to diffuse it. Kylo stomped past you, boots crunching on every piece of broken glass. You didn’t turn around until you heard his footsteps stop. Turning around, you didn’t know what you wanted to see; deep down inside you hoped that it was all a mistake and it was all miscommunication. But instead, his nostrils flared as he stretched out his hands. You sucked in a breath preparing for the worst, but you felt the swift breeze of something whipping pass your hair. You moved, thank the stars, because if you didn’t, you would’ve been bludgeon by your mask that the Knights had gifted you. Once it was in his grasp, he began to bang it against the wall until there was nothing left but fragments. Once he left, you looked around and everything you own shattered against the floor by the man you loved. Shakily, you lifted your wrist where you commed was place. “Phasma?”

* * *

Kylo turned to the only person he could, that he’s been turning to. The doors slid open and he looked up to see Serena staring with large persimmon eyes. “W-What are you doing here?” Serena asked. “He stripped me,” Kylo whispered. “What?” She asked still frozen in her spot. “Snoke stripped me of Command and removed me from the Knights, he thinks I’m incompetent. He’s sentencing me to spend a year with him in seclusion.” He told her with a firmer voice. “Everything I ever worked for is gone and now I have to start from the beginning.” Kylo looked up with bloodshot maniac eyes. “I don’t know what to do.” His bottom lip quivered and Serena didn’t hesitate to cater to him. Her hands threaded through his lethargic waves. “Kylo,” She said and his eyes softened at the sound of her voice. “You’re the only one that cares for me.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “She lied to me and left me. She broke me. Can you fix me?” He asked and in one blink her eyes lightened to hot pink. Serena passionately kissed him. “Ok, Ben.” It was an unspoken agreement that during these moments, he would be explicitly called Ben. So he took her right there and just like all the times before he left her naked, asleep, and alone. For some reason, he expected to feel better about himself, but he only felt worse. He stalked the hallways to the hangar when he saw some officers. “Prepare my ship.” He ordered them. But they just blinked at him. He was no longer Commander, he had no rank, he was lower than a technician. Just a man with powers. He scowled, storming off to the hangar. He stalked to his TIE and punched in coordinates. He needed to get out of here. And out of here fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: Clap if you support her decision: 


	10. Part 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: violence

Phasma slowly removed her helmet as she stood at the doorway. Her blues eyes scanned all over the trashed room taking in the broken glass, furniture and anything else she could make out. But the thing that broke her heart, was you. She snapped her eyes up to the sound of your sobs. Standing in the middle of what was once your home as a broken-hearted girl who didn’t deserve any of this. “Angel,” She whispered. Her heavy boots crunched the broken pieces that were scattered on the ground. “I’m sorry,” you sniffled. “I didn’t know who else to call.” You told her truthfully. “I just didn’t want Hux or Lucky to tell me.” “They wouldn’t.” Phasma shook her head as a firm hand pressed along your back. You turned to her, hot cheeks pressing against the cool of her chrome suit. Her hand ran up and down your back in a soothing motion. “Come on, we have to get you out of here.” Phasma slowly led you out carefully. Later Hux and Phasma came back to observe the scene. Lightly, Hux moved a piece of glass away from where he stood as he took in the scene of destruction. “And she was unharmed?” Hux asked. Phasma nodded. “I relieved Lucky of his duties so he could stay with her for the time being.” Hux shot her a look before storming out. “Was that the smartest decision? The last thing we need is him to look for her and find them together.” Phasma turned and followed him. “Yes, Ren has fled the base. Angel needs someone right now.” Phasma began to speak. “And I know how much you don’t approve of her being with anyone, but she’s not a child, you can’t protect her anymore. She’s a grown woman, who with your blessing, will one day be a General. Would you rather her be at the side of a tyrannical child or have someone that loves her standing beside her.” Hux just stared at her not wanting to admit she was right. “Fine, but as soon as the Azazel gets here, she’s boarding.” He pointed.

* * *

It had been over a week that Kylo ran away from the base. In a small bed, he tossed and turned as the nightmares plagued him. It was always the same one; always consisted of you. He saw Y/N in a white uniform with long hair looking out a viewport. Even from the distance, he could make out the shiny gold band around her left ring finger. Then it would move to you staring up at him with your beautiful (y/e/c) eyes that held fear as the blue blade illuminated in front of your face, revealing Rey about to strike you. But, every time he tried to save you it was too late and you would turn to look up once again with a bloody gash on your left eye. Kylo sat up catching his breath. Ever since he had left, he’s had these terrible terrors about you getting hurt. Your relationship was over, especially after the way Kylo had acted; but he couldn’t stop his need to protect you. In his eyes, no matter how many times he lied, you were too precious to let fall into the hands of the dark. He also realized he hadn’t seen Rey since, but ignored it being thankful that the annoying connection was now gone. But, his body did ache for Serena, if there was the only one pro, it was her. Sucking up his pride, Kylo punched in the coordinates and made his way back to the base. Because there was something telling him, something was going to happen soon.

* * *

Hux and Phasma waited as their premier guest arrived. The man and his entourage strolled casually as laughter filled the base. Phasma held her gun tighter as the man approached. “Greetings, Prince Michael, so happy you could lend your services.” Hux nodded. “Ah, it’s no problem General Hux, just doing my duties.” Michael smiled. “Certainly; sorry to hear about your father, we have sent our best doctors.” Hux tried his best to butter the young prince. “Thank you, my father is recovering quite well. Not well enough to see what you’ve done with the place.” His hazel eyes scanned the base mockingly as his cronies laughed causing Phasma to emit a growl from her mask. Eyes fell on her before Michael began again. “Where is that lovely Ambassador of yours? I was hoping to see her first.” He smiled. “Ambassador L/N is now Lieutenant General L/N and she is leading one of our ships at the moment. She will be here for the ball.” Hux reassured him. A devilish smile appeared on the Prince’s lips. “Wow, she moves up so quickly. An Ambassador, now right under you.” He slyly said to Hux. “If she plays her cards right, she just might be a Queen.” Hux didn’t like how he was insinuating you slept up your position. He was just about to say something when a trooper ran up to them. “Sir, General, sir.” He stood at attention. “There is a T14.91 in the left wing.” He said which had Hux eyes widen. “Officer take care of the guest,” Hux commanded as him and Phasma fled to the scene.

* * *

When Kylo arrived back at the base, he was surprised someone acknowledged him. And very surprised the Supreme Leader had yet punished him for running off. He sat in Hux’s office with a snarl; not only was he late, he was making him wait. Of course, he could destroy everything, but without a title, he could be detained and thrown off the ship. The blast doors slid open to reveal Hux with a datapad in hand. “Welcome back,” Hux snide comment caused Kylo’s fist to tighten. “I was hoping you had a longer vacation.” Hux sat across from Kylo just staring. “What is it?” Kylo said through gritted teeth. A smirk appeared on Hux’s face. “You’re such a troublemaker, I mean I’ve always known, but I’m SO glad Supreme Leader will finally see.” Kylo squinted his eyes at the man in front of him. “What you did to Lieutenant L/N is unforgivable and disturbing. You will be fined for damages and Supreme Leader has requested that you will no longer be allowed on any First Order base or ship and will be under his direct orders at his palace and will report there when not on missions.” The air tightened around him; he was basically being exiled and worse he was being told and mocked by the person he hated most. “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Kylo yelled. “You will sit down, immediately!” Hux commanded; Kylo’s hand stretched out using the force to wrap around his thin neck. “You have no authority, you’re worthless here, so assaulting a General is-” Hux choked out before Kylo realized that the consequences of his actions were now directly handled by Snoke.

Hux took in a deep breath at the release of his airways. “I can’t wait until you’re gone,” Hux muttered under his breath, fixing his collar. Kylo towered over the seated Hux, fuming. They held a heavy stare before Hux pointed to the chair. “Sit,” “No, I’m finally done with pretending to listen to you.” Kylo turned to the door. “We still have to discuss your pet of a technician.” Kylo rolled his eyes. “I’ll save you the trouble of searching for her, she’s dead,” Hux smirked at the immediate change that fell over Kylo. And he said she meant nothing. Turning slowly, Kylo walked over to the desk. “You killed a technician to hold something over me?” He furrowed his dark brows. “Oh no, I would never stoop to your level. We found her body, along with this note that was left at the Lieutenant’s quarters.” Kylo froze, she was going to tell Y/N everything. Hux brought the note upon the datapad and handed it to him. With fire in his blue eyes, Hux savored watching Kylo lose all the color of his face as he read the note.

> Dear Angel,
> 
> There is something I must tell you. I won’t be forgiven, and I don’t expect to be forgiven; for I’ll be long gone when you find this. For I am just a mere technician aboard a military base just a speck of dust amongst the universe that is the First Order and the stars that are you. All of this is a lie, I know you know this. I see it in your eyes when you look into his eyes. You are a pawn in all of this, as am I. There are people more bigger than us controlling our moves, deciding our fate. You might not see me as threat, but I am a force to be reckoned with. I have held your life within the palm of my hand, and your friends, since I’ve stepped on my ship. My name is May Luus and I’m a spy for the Resistance. I was personally asked to gain information about the new face rising in the First Order, you, by Captain Hilt, your father. The sadness from what your mother has turned you into wrenches the hearts of all Resistance members that work closely with the Captain, who holds high hopes to return to him. Infiltrating the Order and finding out about you, it shows that he is right to hold hope. Because of this, you give me hope that if the galaxy would fall into the hands of the Order, you’re the only person I’m content with ruling it. Which is why it disgust me that you work for an organization hell bent on killing everyone in order to rule the universe. And saddens me that you fell for someone as terrible as Kylo Ren; but then I’d have to look in the mirror as well. But, we have more things in common than you think: I’m in love with Kylo Ren and it runs deeper than my devotion for you. This is why I say, you don’t deserve someone like him and he doesn’t deserve someone like you. Kylo is compassionate and determined, who strives to complete something that has never been done, he needs someone to be there for him, release his stress and know that someone would be in his corner no matter what. And that is not you. I love Kylo and I would fight for him, but to him, I’m nothing. Even now, as I carry his child. I have become a traitor to my cause for love and you caused him to leave because you hold such control on him, I hate it. Now, I have nothing left and nowhere to go, death is the only escape. To Kylo, I love him and I’m sorry. And to you, may I hope you find peace before karma does.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> A Dead Woman

Kylo’s mouth was dry and he felt as if his skin was burning against his bones. Kylo looked up with shock. Words could not come to him. “You impregnated a Resistance member who was spying on your girlfriend on behalf of her traitorous father. Family.” Hux chuckled. “Did Y/N see this?” Kylo asked. “Of course not, do you think after what happen I’d allow her to feel like this is all of her faults by some resistance scum?” Hux scoffed. Kylo shot up and made his way to the door. “You will not find her,” Hux shouted. “And when you do see her, you will stay away from the Lieutenant.”

* * *

The embellished black fabric held every curve of your body. Your short (y/h/c) hair was slicked off your face. The deep V-cut of the dress showed off skin without being too much. All eyes were on you; how things have changed from the last ball. Exiting the transporter, Lucky stood by your side, as well as other troopers. “I hope all is well, Lieutenant.” Hux bowed. “Yes, thank you, General.” You smiled. The pair and the troopers began to walk to the large hall that held the ball. The two discussed somethings only to be stop by the call of your name. You froze, the tall blond made his way in front of you. “Prince Michael.” You did your best to not show how shaken you were. You hadn’t seen him since that night and you were praying to the makers you never would. “It’s lovely to see you again.” He kissed her hand. You didn’t say anything and that made Hux suspicious. “Well, we must go.” Hux guided you past the smiling Prince. “What was that?” He asked. “Nothing, nothing.” You shook your head and beckoned to continue to the ball. If seeing Michael wasn’t worse, you weren’t prepared to see Kylo either. Y/N’s breath hitched. Hux clenched his jaw as he ordered the troopers to continue you to the destination. “I told you to stay away!” Hux barked. “Why was he near her?” Kylo looked like a feral rancor. His black waves were disheveled, his bloodshot eyes were carried by the bags under them and his scar look like he’d been picking at it. Hux’s lips curled up in disgust. “She’s single n-” “No he needs to stay away from her!” Kylo’s hand flew to his lightsaber, which left Hux confused and already diffusing the situation. “Stop, before I have you removed from the ship.” Hux said through his teeth. “Did she tell you what happened?” Kylo took red furrowed brows as an answer. “Did she tell you about him?” Slowly, the man shook his head.

Every once and while, you stopped mingling with guest to see if Hux had came in. And to make sure you weren’t being watched by the two men that were haunting you right now. “Angel, are you alright?” Lucky asked, you shook your head yes and turned to speak, avoiding any further questions. But, you could only be in so many places! If the people couldn’t come harass you, then they would go to Phasma, who regretted not being in uniform. “Where is the Ginger-fuck!” She spat lowly. “If one more politician ask me a damn question about whatever the fuck you two do, I’m blasting this whole shit up.” You gulped. She wasn’t angry at you, but you couldn’t help but be afraid. So without causing alert, you slipped out to look for him. The halls of the Apocalypse were much quieter than the Azazel. It made your stomach twist, this base always made you feel like something bad was about to happen. Maybe it was because what happened to Starkiller, or because a lot of bad things did happen on here. Your gown dragged on the floor creating noise and caused you turn constantly out of suspense. No one was following you, but still you felt like you were being watched. Voices were heard behind a door. Putting in the master code, you entered the dark room. “Hux?” You called out, only for the large figure to come into the light. You gasped, as Kylo waved his hand shutting the door.

“Let me out!” She yelled at him. “Nyneve, please.” He begged. “D-Don’t call me that!” You said. “Now let me out!” Kylo just shook his head. “I have to protect you.” He said and you scoffed. “Protect me? You’re the reason I need protection!” You told him. “No, I’m sorry Y/N, I never meant to hurt you, but something bad will happen if you don’t let me.” He said, but you shook your head. “Yes, Y/N, I-I saw it in a vision. Something bad is going to happen to you. I can’t you leave me, you have to stay, let me protect you. I’ll take you to a planet an-and keep you safe.” Kylo told you. “I’ll bring you back once everything is over and I have everything in control.” This is what it was all about, he didn’t want to protect you, he wanted you to sit and play housewife. “No!” You shook your head. “You just want everything for yourself.” Kylo stopped in his tracks. “What?!” “You don’t want to protect me, you just want me out of the picture. It’s one less person out of the way.” You said. “No Y/N, I-I care about you.” Kylo told you. “No, if you cared about me you wouldn’t treat me the way you did. I loved you Kylo a-and all you did was push me away and hurt me and try to control me. I don’t deserve that.” It was true and Kylo knew it. “I know I have done wrong and I’m sorr-” “No, you always say you’re sorry and I’m done. I’ve always defended you, stood in your corner, while you what? Discarded me like used tissue. You told me you wanted me to be your Empress, is that when you’ll treat me right?” Y/N felt on fire as she got everything off her chest.

“Why are you so persistent on trying to protect me and take me away from here?” You tilted your head. “Because I love you and I’m sorr-” Kylo’s bottom lip quivered. “It’s because you’re jealous.” You spat. “Snoke warned me about this. You hate how I’ve earned so much in such little time. You can’t stand to watch me get so far doing something you deem so unimportant, me being important.” Your voice began to rise. “You can’t stand to be on the sidelines, well I refuse to be on them, especially for you.” Something changed within Kylo; no longer did he see you, the soft, loving girl who he had met. Instead, he saw the monster that had been created as you continued to succeeded in the Order. “I’ve done more for the Order than you ever had. All you do is whine and destroy stuff, you couldn’t even defeat a scavenger! No wonder Snoke stripped your title and gave it to me.” Y/N continued to mock. Everything went black and loud scream was all that was heard. Kylo saw the hilt of the saber in his hand and Y/N lying on the floor, shaking. A strand of (y/h/c) hair fell in your face as you turned to look up at the man who had struck you, but it was blurry and red. Your heart rate increased as the panic began to rise; which only made your vision worse. Chest heaving, Kylo moved backwards; this was his vision, except it wasn’t Rey that did it. It was him. He realized how right you were, the only person you needed to be protected from was himself. You pushed yourself up from the floor with bloody hands. From what you could see, the door was open from the brightly illuminated hallway. Shaky legs made their way done the hall as your hand covered your eye. Where were you going? Who would you tell? Bloody fingers danced against the wall to make sure you wouldn’t fall. All of this reminded you of the night you found out Matt was Kylo. You cursed yourself for going back on your decision. You said no, and you should’ve stuck with it. You kept trudging, tears and blood mixed together creating a red glaze over your vision. “Lieutenant?” A voice rang; you turned, not knowing where the voice came from. More voices rang through your spinning head. “Someone call the General!” Was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

* * *

A bright light caused Y/N to stir. The machine humming from both the ship and medical machines played softly as Hux talked to the Doctor. “She’s awake.” Lucky’s voice had your eyes fluttering open, well, one eye. The heart rate machine beeped quickly and the doctor walked over to calm you down. “Everything is alright Lieutenant, no need to panic. You’re stroma was damaged, leaving the color permanently gone but your vision will be restored within several weeks.” He told you. The left side of your face felt numb as you tried to look around the room with her right eye. To your right, you could see a sad smile on Lucky’s lips as he squeezed your hand. “How are you feeling?” Hux stood to your left and you had to turn your head all the way to look at him. Your lips parted to speak before you were interrupted by an officer: “General the weapon is ready.” Hux’s eyes wavered from sad to the strong leader you knew. “Stay with her.” Lucky nodded, before everyone left the two of you alone. You turned back to look at the man who was playing with your fingers. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. “I shouldn’t have snuck out.” Lucky sighed, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if.” He cut his sentence short not wanting to even think about that. “Me too,” Your palm ran down his cheek. “I’m never going to leave your side, Angel. I promise you.” Lucky sighed. “What about Ava?” “I don’t love, Ava.” His sharp blue eyes locked with yours and you could hear your heart rate monitor increase. “What’s that?” (Y/E/C) shifted to look at the large window behind Lucky. He turned to see lasers being projected at a planet. “It’s Fallania.” Lucky said; your breath hitched. “Phasma detained the Prince, some sort of corruption and something with a superior officer. So Hux thought that it should be the first planet to show the weapons strength.” Lucky didn’t take his eyes off the exploding planet, and neither did you. “Now everyone will remember just how strong the First Order is.” Lucky said. “And soon we’ll have it all.” Something changed within you; the knot in your stomach made you feel like bile would rise up in your throat from watching it. But the words that Lucky spoke ignited you. The First Order was strong, you were strong, and you wanted to show the Galaxy just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: I hope a lot of you guys enjoy this enough to reply. So Chapter 4 will be the last installment of SNA. I haven't written yet because I just finished 3 and I graduated, also I'm torn between making Angel evil or just staying her sweet bomb ass self. Spoiler: Revenge is on its way no matter if she's good or bad. So please help me choose if she's good or bad so I can start writing Chapter 4 PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

**Author's Note:**

> P.S.: Hit me up with comments, concerns, jokes, reminding me that Kylo Ren passed out when he got a blowjob, anything. I miss talking to you guys. AND SUPER THANKFUL FOR ALL THE SNA FANS THOSE FROM THE BEGINNING AND THOSE TUNING IN NOW!!! I just want to say thank you for everything <3 (if anyone is still here)


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